The fine art of falling in love
by assassi
Summary: THIRD SEQUEL for "To live again". "I kind of knew it was gonna be one-sided. I expected it. And accepted it. At some point I guess I just learned to live with that acceptance and the hollow, empty feeling in my chest." Romance/Hurt/Comfort/YAOI. Eventual Luca/Hajime, also mentioned Kotetsu/Izumo and Sakura/Ino.
1. Prelude

**A.N. **Hello again :) This is the third sequel for "To live again" (following "A new beginning"). Thank you for reviewing so far and I hope you'll do it again now :) Also, thank you for waiting for this story and enjoy!

**Prelude**

**Luca's POV**

I fell in love with him from the moment I saw him.

Yeah, spare me the condescendining look. It wasn't the hot, burning, lusting kind of love. He was five years old, for Kami's sake, and so was I. It was the kind of love that it's said only small children can feel – pure; real…

He was upset on that first day in the kindergarten; saw nothing of our games, heard nothing of the songs, remembered nothing of the lessons. He only had eyes for where he thought the parking lot was; only waited and hoped that his fathers will come get him sooner…

Later, as he cried when they held him, as he snuggled into Izumo's embrace and held onto Kotetsu's hand, he lifted his head for a bit and for just a moment, over Izumo's shoulder, our eyes met. And just like that… like an arrow through my heart, like a lightning through my whole body... doomed forever by those crying multicolored eyes… My five year old self fell in love for the first and only time.

As we grew older the lust was only added to that first, pure feeling. Without replacing it though. Only… amplifying it…

I kind of knew it was gonna be one-sided. I expected it. And accepted it. Now, don't take me as a martyr, for I'm very far from it. At some point I guess I just learned to live with that acceptance, that the hollow, empty feeling in my chest will remain just that – hollow and empty, twitching with the false hope that maybe… cuz he's right there next to me, you know…?

No.

Just no.

"Ouch!"

"Huh?"

Hiro frowned at me, rubbing his chest.

"Slow it down, will ya? I ain't the enemy, whoever that may be!"

I took off the boxing gloves and ran a hand through my damp hair.

"Sorry", I muttered, unwrapping the gauze.

"You need a better way to vent, Luca. This doesn't help you any longer."

"I said sorry, okay?!"

"…Dude. Chill."

"Whatever…", I sighed.

"Why didn't you apply for the cop's academy?", Hiro wasn't going to give it up that easily.

"I was asked not to. By a… friend."

His father. Both of his fathers. And I wasn't exactly asked not to. I was forbidden to.

"_I don't wanna worry about you every day, kid. I've had my fair share of worrying for a lifetime, being married to a cop…"_

"…_And I, being married to a ninja…"_

"Keiko's throwing a party at Saturday. You in?", Hiro asked.

I shook my head. "Nah. I gotta finish something."

"That portrait you don't wanna show me?"

"Yes."

I tried to say it in a way for him to realize that the subject is closed. Hiro grinned and lifted his hands in surrender.

"I ain't the enemy, man", he repeated. "You need to finally fight down those demons in your head."

_Oh, you mean the blonde one with the multicolored eyes?_

"Sure", I gritted out, heading for the showers.

Just another day. Accepting things as they were.


	2. Chapter 1 – Ignoring Luca's weird jokes

**Chapter 1 – Ignoring Luca's weird jokes**

**Hajime's POV**

The soft clinking of pots and the shushed buzz from the TV filled the otherwise quiet place. The kitchen smelled of eggs and bacon and coffee. It smelled like home.

Izumo turned around when I entered the room and smiled at me.

"Hey. You spent the night here?"

'Here' was the house where my dads and siblings lived. They still owned their old apartment though and had given it to me when I was finally (and very reluctantly) deemed old enough to live by myself.

Either way, both of them, and especially Izumo, were ridiculously happy when I chose to spend the night at the house with the whole family. In fact I was damn sure Izumo would be thrilled if I suddenly decided to move back with them.

"Give it up, Dad…", I sighed.

He chuckled. "Never ask me to do that when it comes to my kids", he winked.

I hid a smirk at my coffee just as a plate of eggs and bacon was placed in front of me.

"Got any early lectures?", he asked.

The Konoha's Arts University was actually his idea – he had been the one to encourage me to follow my dreams and turn my hobby into something more. Photography was also an interest we both shared, since he'd followed my every step through childhood and adolescence with a camera in his hand, taking thousands of photos. There were probably around 100 albums of me, my other Dad and my siblings, their friends and colleagues.

"Yeah, Luca's gonna pick me up from here."

"Mhm…", Izumo automatically set to prepare more coffee and some light breakfast.

"Dad, I gotta be at school in 30 minutes", Akira announced, stepping into the kitchen.

There was one word that could describe my brother – perfection. I knew that from the moment our fathers first introduced us, long before they brought him home, to live with us. He was just a toddler back then.

All those years later, he hadn't grown any less adorable.

"Aniki. You're doing it again", he said, voice serious and a bit annoyed.

"Huh? Doing what?", I blinked, confused.

"Staring at me. Stop it."

"But…"

"Onii-san…"

"What did I do to deserve being called in such a formal way!?"

"… you will never find yourself a partner in life if you don't grow out of your brother complex and simply start acting like a normal adult instead of fussing around me… and Lulu…"

"Kira-cha…"

"AND I TOLD YOU TO STOP CALLING ME THAT!"

"…"

"I'm not a baby anymore. Do stop treating me like that."

"… so cute… and so cold…"

Akira shook his head while Izumo laughed, serving Luca's coffee right when the door banged open with Luca's patented barging technique.

"Morning, people!", he boomed.

"Exactly. It is morning. Can you keep it down, please? As in, are you even able to?", I snapped.

"Tsk. So cute. And so cold", Luca mused, not understanding why Izumo and Akira burst laughing.

* * *

><p>I've known Luca since we were both five years old. And it's always been easy, being around him; despite our never-ending bickering. He also has the disturbing tendency to make weird jokes about being attracted to me in an intimate and sexual way. Anyways, I've learnt to just ignore those.<p>

That aside, Luca is amazingly easy to live with and be with. He can talk, filling the silence in that nice way that doesn't make my head hurt the way it has with some of my girlfriends. Or he can be quiet when he feels I need some silence to sort my mind out and that silence isn't awkward the way it sometimes has been with some of my dates. He's actually pretty sociable, and clever, and can find something to talk about with pretty much anyone. That and his good looks make him a pretty popular guy. Why he chooses to keep hanging out with me (unsociable, moody and mostly a loner) is beyond me.

He drives like crazy though. Meaning – fast. He's actually careful, but the sheer speed he usually applies makes his mothers very sorry that they let my dads teach their son how to drive. Imagine a sports car (one Luca bought with his own money, second-hand, and renovated with the help of Kiba, a family friend) literally flying through Konoha's streets, with AC/DC's _Highway to hell_ blaring as loud as it possibly can. Yep. That is how we usually go to school.

Ah, yes, we go to the same university. Only I major in photography and Luca – in fine arts and graphic design. Yeah, both. He's a very good artist. My dads have even put some of his works on the walls at home.

I don't know if it's a part of being an artistic person, but Luca smokes too much. I can bet that started as a means to look more badass but now he is really addicted to the nicotine.

All that badass-image is put entirely aside once Luca is around his sister or my siblings. I swear to Kami, he's the poster guy for the perfect older brother. He never smokes around the kids, never swears, never even (really) shouts. He can even endure his sister using her make-up on his face or Lulu pulling his long black hair and never, ever complain. You should hear and see him when his sister calls him. He looks at his phone (even though he knows who's calling since she has a personalized ringtone), smiles and answers with a simple "What's up, kiddo?", all the while his whole face glowing.

Luckily, said sister, Karen, is a very sweet child and (miraculously) not some spoiled princess.

"Where have you spaced out?", Luca asked, snapping me out of my thoughts as he pulled over at the parking lot.

"Hmm?", I answered eloquently.

"New girlfriend?", he teased.

"Nah. Got tired of them. Girls just don't interest me at the moment."

"Ah, well, you can always try the other side", he winked.

I just sighed, ignoring his strange joke as I always did.


	3. Chapter 2 - Suspicions

**A.N.** First, I'd like to thank EVERYONE who reviewed - I always appreciate it! :) I hope you enjoy the new chapter as well :)

Chapter 2 – Suspicions

**Hajime POV**

Luca dunked the ball for, like, 10th time.

I sighed again, irritated. Come the fuck on – the guy is a very good artist and is also said to be a damn good graphic designer, is pretty sociable, has his good looks _and_ is good at sports! HOW!?

I, on the other hand, am very bad at sports. Akira is the sportsman amongst us, kids (but as we have already established, he is perfect in everything, of course) and of course both our fathers are quite fit and love sport in general.

Well. I'm adopted anyway, so here's my excuse.

I know what you're gonna say: so is Akira. Fuck you and shut up.

Luca's teammates congratulated him, patting him on his back and cheering up. He grinned, said something witty in return and came closer to me.

"Man, I'm starved! Come on, my treat", he offered.

"You stink", was my response.

He scrunched up his nose.

"Ugh. Shower and then some takeout?" , he suggested, already walking towards the changing room.

"What is the point of a good practice if you're gonna stuff your body with junk food afterwards?", I grumbled, following him anyway.

Luca laughed carelessly, already undressing.

Since we grew up together (and since we're both dudes) it has never been a problem, never been weird, undressing in front of the other. Actually I've never even really looked at him closely.

Now I did.

He was all black and blue, like he'd been repeatedly hit, mostly in the ribs, his back, his arms. For the first time ever I stopped and wondered… was he going out with someone abusive? Was it even a she, or a he? We live in Konoha, both possibilities are considered pretty normal. How fucked up was this, that he was my best friend and I couldn't even say for sure if he was straight, bi or gay? I couldn't say if he was dating anyone right now, guy or girl. He had mentioned some of his dates, in general, but… with whom? And most importantly - was his current lover doing this to him?

"Luca…", I started hesitantly.

He turned around, saw where I was looking at and his smile faded. He turned back, rummaging in his locker.

"It's nothing, Hajime."

"But… a-are you going out with some… some guy who…"

He laughed. Bitterly.

But when he turned around his smile was as perfect as ever.

"It's nothing. Really. Just the consequences of… another kind of practice."

"But…"

"You should have seen the other dude. Man, I have a mean right hook!", he shook his head, laughing, pointedly hurrying to close the glass door of the shower cabin. And shut me out.

I wasn't gonna let him get away.

* * *

><p><strong>Kotetsu POV<strong>

I knew Luca was in love with Hajime from the first time my son mentioned that kid from the kindergarten. Izumo still doesn't believe me and thinks I overreact and imagine things.

But I know and see things he doesn't.

Well, everyone noticed when Luca stopped being the arrogant, aloof kid he used to be and began working on being a boy with whom someone can fall in love. Someone like Hajime…

But I also noticed when Luca's friendly adoration turned into real, grown-up love. And lust. I see the way he looks at Hajime. And, understand me correctly, he doesn't look at him simply like a sexual object. He looks at him with such longing… For something more. Something real.

Luca would never take anything less than love – real love that comes with all the rights and responsibilities, all the shared moments, all the difficulties, every small battle. When I realized that, I finally accepted that that little punk (who was not that little punk anymore, but a fine young man) was in fact someone worthy of my child.

My so very frustratingly oblivious child, who saw nothing of that.

And then I noticed when the bitterness started slowly growing in Luca's soul. I noticed when it became harder for him to maintain the wide smile, taking much more effort.

But he never snapped. Never asked for more. Always making himself content with what he had, even if it was just friendship when he was starved for love. Hajime's love, since he only had eyes for him. No one else.

When he came to me asking me to recommend a place for him to train some kind of martial arts… I knew that look, that hollow voice. And it hurt to see him like that.

I couldn't be his sensei, since I'd never be able to actually attack him, and potentially hurt him; the kid was like one of my own. The only one I trusted was Ares. He wasn't gonna hold back, but still he'd never fatally hurt Luca.

And Luca needed those practices, like I'd needed them all those years ago.

He looked calmer the next time I saw him… quicker in faking his smile.

Damn. I really hoped Hajime will finally open his eyes. And soon.


	4. Chapter 3 - Changed

A.N. Hello and sorry for the long wait. I hope you enjoy (and review) this chapter too :)

**Chapter 3 - Changed**

**Luca POV**

"I've always liked this car. Always wanted something like that for myself. But… you know…Ex-ANBU parents. 'No way you're getting yourself something that fast!'"

Keita rolled his eyes and I smiled with understanding.

As we were growing up, it became pretty obvious that Hajime is straight. And so was Keita. So, no point in stupid childish jealousy. Keita was safe.

At some point over the years we had actually become quite close friends. Once we got to know each other better Keita had turned out to be a cool guy. With one major fault though…

"So… how are things with Hajime?"

He was very perceptive. Unlike someone else.

I shrugged. "Well, he's still straight, imagine that."

Keita snorted and I smirked, trying to cover the bitterness.

"He saw the bruises yesterday", I added.

There was an awkward pause.

"You gotta tell him, Luca…", Keita started, yet again.

"What about? That I'm head over heels in love with him, that I engage myself in pretty much anything with the only hope to distract myself from thinking about him, or to exhaust myself into oblivion?"

"Yeah. That."

I shook my head. "There's no point. I've gotten used to it. I'm alright. Everything's just… fine."

"…Sure…"

The school bell rang, making me smile at the stupid situation. "Saved by the bell." I knew Keita was genuinely worried about me, as much as I didn't want to worry him. I guess that was just how friendship worked.

The kids came running out and every other thought was quickly forgotten as Karen and Mei came into view.

That was something else we had in common. We both had amazing younger sisters.

"Nii-chan!", Mei hung on Keita's neck with all of her (thankfully tiny) weight. He just laughed and spun her around.

Keita's Mom, Anko, had gotten pregnant awhile after they had adopted Keita. It had been a small miracle, since she'd had problems getting pregnant before. I vaguely remember young Keita being worried that they wouldn't want him anymore, now that they were going to have their own child. Anko and Gai had sat down and talked to him, assuring him that was not the case at all (I know all that because they're not just my Dad's colleagues, but also family friends; as in, my dads were even called at the hospital when Anko was giving birth, and later they became Mei's Godparents).

As a result of that talk, when Mei was born she had two older brothers – Keita and his older brother Lee (his Dad's biological son) – who were already wrapped around her little finger. Well, in Lee's case, he already had some experience with younger siblings, being already very close with Keita.

Karen and I… we're just different. Not that…expressive. We just don't need puppy eyes and baby-talk to know how much we mean to each other.

She looked up at me and smiled – a simple happy smile.

"Hey, Luca."

"Hey, kiddo. Did you have a good day?"

"Yep."

"Yes", I corrected.

"But you say 'yep'."

"_Not in front of you!"_

"'_Yes'_ is the right way to respond", I insisted.

She humph-ed and I ruffled her hair making her squeak indignantly as I laughed.

* * *

><p><strong>Izumo POV<strong>

"There you are. Good as new."

Lulu blinked, her crystal clear blue eyes filled with wonder. Her red curls were currently flattened from her bath and her pale skin seemed to somehow give a faint glow.

"Daddy's little fairy", I grinned, making her giggle as I wrapped her in her towel.

"Dad?", Akira's voice called.

"In the bathroom", I called back.

"Are you decent?", he asked, right in front of the door now.

"Yeah, just giving your sister a bath."

Akira poked his head, examining the scene. Lulu squealed excitedly when she saw him and he smiled one of his rare smiles.

They had all changed so much. Luca used to smile rarely as a child as well, while he was all wide smiles and confident grins now. Or at least that's what we all saw – a very social, very popular and friendly person.

But while Luca's whole younger self had been somehow cold and distant, Akira was just… fed up with us all? He also used to be cuter and more talkative as a small child, but now he was just a normal teenager. He smiled when he felt like it, was bored and didn't hide it most of the time, or was too concentrated in the things that actually interested him to mimic fake enthusiasm.

He would be very much alike Hajime… if Hajime didn't freak out around him.

Hajime used to be a very sweet child – open and easy to smile and laugh. Puberty had changed him into the somewhat distant and aloof person Luca used to be (except when he was with his younger siblings). I tried to tell myself that this was normal for an artistic person, that Hajime was just too concentrated in photography, but maybe that was just the way he was and it had nothing to do with what he'd chosen to do.

"Would you change this much as well?", I wondered out loud, staring thoughtfully at Lulu, who was chewing on her foot with a comically serious face.

"Um, Dad? You're spacing out again and being, like, generally weird as usual."

I burst out laughing, ruffling Akira's hair and making Lulu giggle some more.

* * *

><p><strong>Luca POV<strong>

"Aro! Come back here!"

I grinned at the usual sight of Hajime running after the huge furball. There was simply no way of teaching that dog any manners – even Tsume, Kotetsu's friend and top dog-breeder, had failed.

Aro was Jash's son. Jash, Kotetsu's first dog had passed away a few years ago. I remember how devastated Hajime was – Jash had been there when Kotetsu and Izumo had first brought Hajime at his hew home and had allowed the little boy to literally fall asleep on top of him countless of times. I knew Jash had been one of Hajime's best friends. So when he'd come to my doorstep, looking lost, sniffling and with puffy eyes, muttering something about Jash, I just knew.

It's the only night he spent snuggled in my arms, falling asleep in my embrace. I just wished the circumstances were different.

"So. When are you going to show me?"

Hajime, having eventually given up on Aro, stood before me, still panting from chasing the little beast. I smirked, unable to stop myself,

"Hm? Show you a good time?"

He scowled. He always did when I allowed myself a teasing little remark like that.

"Show me what you're working on, dumbass. Keita mentioned…"

"Keita better watch his mouth", I growled under my nose.

Hajime stared at me as if trying to read my mind.

"What's going on with you? You've never hid something from me."

"Haven't I…?", I lit a cigarette, ignoring the way he kept staring at me. I kept walking until he grabbed my arm, making me turn back to look at him.

"What are you drawing?", he demanded.

"_You."_

It was on the tip of my tongue. But I said nothing.

Like with Aro before, Hajime eventually gave up and let go of my arm.

We resumed our walk in silence.


	5. Chapter 4 - Unbearable

**A.N.** Happy New Year, guys! For the few who still take a second to review - THNAK YOU! For the rest... uh, I can't be sure you even read this story anymore but oh, well - enjoy, everyone! Also there's a small surprise - turns out Luca's whole name is not Luca :D

**Chapter 4 – Unbearable**

**Luca POV**

"…And who the hell even decided we should study higher mathematics!? WHY!? Do I need higher mathematics to be a better photographer!?"

"… to calculate the right angle, maybe?"

"You shut up, Lucas!"

"…I hate it when you use my full name."

"It's a cool name…"

"Thanks, Keita. But still. Don't use it."

"HIGHER MATHEMATICS!"

"Okay, fine, geez! We got it already, Hajime, you hysterical psycho!"

"…I can help you."

"Come again?"

"_Gladly. I only did so last night, to a dream about you, but I could always come again when you are involved."_

"I said I could help you with math", I said out loud.

His whole face lit up. He smiled in a way that could make me do anything – from fucking learning higher math, to ripping my heart out to serve it on a silver plate for him.

"Thanks, Luca", he said sweetly.

I gulped dryly, nodding nonchalantly.

"Sure."

Keita's pitying look wasn't lost on me.

* * *

><p>Hajime really was pants at math. At even the most basic one, never mind the higher mathematics.<p>

"I don't get it", he declared.

"Well, try harder. It's an important grade for your certificate."

Hajime's determined look was almost as cute as his smiling one… or the pouting one… or the "don't-talk-to-me-I-haven't-had-my-first-coffee-yet" one…

He leant closer, all but draping himself on me.

"But it doesn't make any sense! How am I supposed to get it?! How do you get it!?"

His exasperated exclamations could have been whispers in my ear. His breath on my neck, his skin on my skin where our arms touched, the way he felt free enough to even be that close to me…

"Luca?"

I shook my head to clear the fog.

"Hm?"

"You okay, man?"

I coughed slightly.

"Yeah. Yeah, sure. Now, see here, that goes like this…"

An hour later Hajime decided the lesson had been really helpful and we absolutely had to schedule a regular night for such math lessons from now on.

As I walked out of his place, I heaved a sigh. Regular lessons. At least one night a week with Hajime draped all over me as he bent over the books.

I was doomed.

* * *

><p>"Scuba diving?", Hajime looked incredulous.<p>

"Yeah! Right this weekend", I grinned.

"Weren't you gonna run then?"

"Saturday morning."

"And the basketball?"

"Sunday night."

He whistled. "How do you even find the energy for all that?", he mused.

"I wonder that too", Keita murmured. Our eyes met for a moment, but I quickly looked away.

Hajime sighed again, rolling his eyes.

"Whatever. Gotta go, see ya guys later!"

The sound of his chair scraping the floor was still echoing in my ears when Keita's quiet voice reached me.

"Another hobby?"

"It's… just something else to occupy my time…"

"To distract you."

"…It's unbearable otherwise."

"What is?"

"Everything. His smile. The way he scowls. The ways he drawls out the "a"-s. His eyes. Did you know his eyes have 7 different hues? Green, blue, golden, brown, violet, black and even a few red spots."

"…Damn, man."

"…Yeah."

Keita patted my shoulder with sympathy, shaking his head and saying the magic words every good friend said at some point:

"Drinks are on me."


	6. Chapter 5 - Thunderstruck

**A.N.** To Ella459, currently my biggest fan (hope she still loves after this chapter)

**Chapter 5 – Thunderstruck**

**Luca POV**

So it might have been too much. A touch too much*.

Yes, the scuba-diving, running, basketball, martial arts and so on did finally become too much, even for me. Karen always says that I lack the alarms in my head that are supposed to go off when I push too much, too fast, too soon. No matter if it's taking the whole night to paint, or finishing a design project, or spending too much time training; I'm always overdoing it. Hence, the feeling like a zombie the next day. What Karen probably doesn't understand is _why_ I do it.

"You look like shit."

I hid a smirk in my coffee cup. That was Kotetsu's way of saying _"You look tired and I'm worried about you." _Worried. My smile faded and I couldn't meet his eyes.

He knew. He always knew.

"I'm fine. Just… trying new things. Broadening my perspective", I muttered.

He sighed. He'd never been much of a talker and he hated talking about feelings, but now I felt he was about to say something on the matter. Which only served to show me how much he actually worried.

They've always been like a second family to me. As amazing as my mothers are, Kotetsu and Izumo have always been the father figures every boy needs while growing up.

I didn't want to worry him. And I definitely didn't want to have the talk of how hopelessly in love I am with his own son.

Time to distract him. Quickly.

"I wanted to ask you something actually", I said. "You're practically the only one I can ask and expect you to not be totally weirded out."

"Okaaay", he drawled, his brow furrowing. "Doesn't sound good so far."

"It's nothing that creepy", I chuckled, "I just wanted to ask you if I can attend some of your training sessions with the cops-wanna-be-s and do some sketching. I mostly need to catch on the movements."

"Oh, sure. No problem. What else?"

"Hm?", I asked, confused.

"You said you _mostly_ needed that. What else?"

He's always been able to catch on the little things, read between the lines, see underneath the underneath.

"Well… the ways a hakama or a shitagi moves when you swing a katana…"

"Are you interested in iaido?", he smiled.

"I might be", I admitted.

"There's a civilian class at the Academy. The sensei is a very nice guy and an excellent teacher. Do you want me to introduce you?"

"Yeah", I smiled, more naturally now. "Yeah, that'd be great!"

"Cool", he nodded. "As for attending my classes, sure you can."

"Thanks, Kotetsu-sa…"

"Kotetsu!", he growled again.

I grinned cheekily. "Yes, sir!"

He growled again, shaking his head as he turned his back on me to start doing the dishes. I quietly slipped off the stool and began walking towards the door.

"Luca."

I closed my eyes, holding my breath and cursing quietly. How could I ever hope to escape from an ex-ANBU?!

"Yeah?"

"Just because I let it slip this time doesn't mean I don't have my eyes on you. If you keep that up we will have that conversation, no matter how uncomfortable it might be."

Closing my eyes again, I grit my teeth.

"Yes, sir."

* * *

><p>"Come oooon, Luca! You need to go out once in awhile! You're 19, for Kami's sake, and yet you act like some middle-aged dude!", Keita's rant was giving me a headache.<p>

"But I'm tired…"

I tried to sound reasonable but if I had to be sincere it was closer to a whine. And if I had to be completely honest I wasn't just tired. I was also pretty beaten up, seeing as today had been my usual training with Ares.

Keita didn't know that. In fact I'm not very sure he'd have given a damn even if he knew. It's just that when he decided something, he absolutely followed through his plan, no matter what. Stubborn little fucker…

"Hajime might be there too…"

I had my back turned to him at this moment; but I'm pretty sure he already knew what my reaction would be.

"That was a low blow, Kei."

He sighed.

"Look, just… At least once, do something _normal people_ do to distract themselves. Instead of exhausting yourself into dreamless oblivion, just fucking go out! Have some fun!"

"Like a normal person", I teased, half-smiling.

"Like a normal fucking person!", he nodded, victorious.

I sighed deeply. The things I put up with for my friends…

"Lemme put on something nicer…"

* * *

><p>The club was full to the brim and the party was in full swing. It was one of the new places in town, having quickly become famous with its close to no inhibitions. Meaning, teens were dancing half-naked and it looked more like they were copulating than anything else. Sure, Konoha was a free and liberal place and it was equally normal to see a boy and girl kissing, or two boys or two girls doing the same. But even here one would feel a bit uncomfortable if the kissing was more like… making out. Freely. Hell, I felt uncomfortable, and I'm far from a prude.<p>

Keita had drifted away and left me alone only minutes after we had entered the club, vanishing in the crowd and leaving me to my own devices. Feeling lost, I looked around.

My eyes landed on a couple of dudes, making out in a corner. One of them, looking tougher than the other, all muscles and strength, was sitting on a leather chair by a small table, covered with empty shot glasses. The other guy, who had his back turned to me, looked smaller and far more slender; he was sitting on the first guy's lap, kissing his partner enthusiastically and shamelessly grinding their groins. Both of them were naked above the waist and it looked like they were about to lose their jeans too, any second now.

Hot as the scene was, I felt uneasy watching them; embarrassed somehow. I quickly looked away, making my way towards the bar to get myself some much needed alcohol.

"Can I buy you a drink?", someone asked.

I turned around and tried to smile to the guy who had offered. He was a blonde. Handsome and with a charming smile that actually reached his eyes. Eyes that were not multicolored, but deep and dark…

"I, eer…"

I turned around again, looking for Keita.

The slender guy, straddling the tough dude, threw his head back and moaned.

My eyes widened.

It was Hajime.

The slender guy, rutting shamelessly in another guy's lap was the man I was in love with. My so _very straight _best friend…

And he looked like he was enjoying himself. Inebriated, but not enough to not know what he was doing. I've seen him actually drunk and I could clearly tell that he was only slightly tipsy right now… perfectly aware what he was doing and enjoying every minute of it…

I cannot really explain what was happening in my heart and my soul and my mind right there. Just like all those years ago when I had fallen in love with him at first sight, I felt stunned now. Thunderstruck. After the initial shock came the sharp pain, sharper than anything I had ever felt before. So fucking sharp that I thought I would die. Maybe I did. Part of me certainly did, right then and there.

"Yeah…", I choked out. "I could use a drink."

The blonde next to me was only happy to provide said drink. I drained it in one gulp. The pain became a dull ache, much more bearable. I could just continue drinking into oblivion.

Or I could just get the hell outta this club.

I turned towards the blonde.

"Take me somewhere", I just said.

He smiled, paid the bill and took my hand, leading me away from the worst thing I had ever seen.

**A/N** *- _Touch too much_ and _Thunderstruck_ are songs by AC/DC.


	7. Chapter 6 - Wherever I may roam

**A.N.** And, like I promised, this chapter is dedicated to **ZepphyraSnowStorm** for the sweet reviews and the continued support :)

**Chapter 6 – Wherever I may roam***

**Luca POV**

I opened my eyes slowly, blinking a few times and just staring at the dull white ceiling. This wasn't my place; wasn't my bed. The body next to me moved. This wasn't the man I wanted.

The pain returned and I felt sick. It wasn't because of the alcohol – in the end I had barely drunk anything last night. It wasn't because the sex with a stranger – I'd had one-offs before and I dare say I was smart enough to use protection every time and even so get myself tested at least once a year. The sex itself wasn't so bad either. It was what led to it that made me feel sick.

It hadn't helped me forgetting what I saw last night. It hadn't lessened the pain. I was broken and nothing I was able to do could fix me. It was time to face the facts. It wasn't that I didn't have a chance with Hajime because he was straight – he was obviously okay with blokes as well as girls. It was just that he didn't want _me_.

The blonde next to me moved again, about to wake up.

Time to hit the road then. Get away. And not just from this unknown apartment, but Konoha as well. But before I left, there were a few things I had to do.

* * *

><p>"How long?"<p>

I sighed, rubbing my forehead.

"I don't know for how long, Mom. I just have to get away for a while."

"Is that what you want me to tell your mother?", Sakura asked, her voice sharp.

I winced, closing my eyes. Ino had always been the more emotional and delicate between the two. Sakura was the tough parent; no matter what it cost her she put up a strong front, hiding how actually worried about her kids she was. Ino… Ino was more prone to fussing around us, openly worrying and nagging and when she couldn't hold it – openly crying. That's what I feared the most. And Sakura knew that. It was a mean thing to play this card on me, but it only showed how desperate she was to keep me here, nearby.

"I promise to call…", I offered weakly.

"And can you promise me to stay out of trouble?"

Well, if I had to be honest… "No."

"Luca… just…"

"Bye, Mom, I'll call you soon", I hurried to put an end to the conversation before she had resorted to actually asking me to stay. I sighed deeply and my fingers shook a little as I called one more person.

"Hey, kiddo…"

* * *

><p><strong>Hajime POV<strong>

"_Take a taxi. I won't be around for a while."_

I frowned at Luca's brisk message, somewhat annoyed that I had to catch a taxi to get to school, somewhat curious and somewhat worried what had happened to him.

Asking Keita didn't provide more answers.

"Dunno, man. He just said that he had to get away for a while."

"Any idea why?"

"Nope, none. We went clubbing last night and this morning I got that message. Someone mentioned he looked upset when he left last night…"

"Huh", I frowned. "You said you went clubbing?"

"Yeah. In "The Pole."

"Yeah? Strange that we didn't see each other, I was there too…"

Keita was suddenly on edge; he tried to sound nonchalant about it but he was certainly on edge when he asked,

"Really? Did anything interesting happen?"

"Nah, just some fooling around", I waved it off.

"With?", he insisted.

"Some bloke? I don't know, someone. What's the matter with you?"

He cursed quietly, left some money for the bill and ran out of the café.

"What the fuck…?", I muttered.

I pulled out my cell phone and dialed Luca.

"_The number you have dialed cannot be reached right now…"_

I groaned and ended the call. Something was definitely up.

* * *

><p><strong>Izumo POV<strong>

"Yeah… yeah, I will. Look, I'm sorry, Sakura… For… for everything. I'll do everything I can. Yeah. See you…"

Kotetsu's back and shoulders were tense as he hung up. He must have sensed me behind him because he said quietly,

"Luca's gone."

"What do you mean, gone?", I frowned. "He ran off…?"

"No, he called Sakura and Karen first, told them he had to leave for a while."

The silence was even tenser than his shoulders.

"It's time you face it as well, Zu. He's in love with our son. And now he's heartbroken and he's walking the same path I did 17 years ago."

"Here you go again…", I sighed.

"Sources say he was last seen in a club where our very same, very idiotic, supposedly heterosexual son was making out with another guy." He turned around, looking pained. "We know the boy since he was in his nappies. We saw him growing up, never leaving our son's side. How much more evidence do you need?"

"Being his best frie-…"

"Damn it, Izumo!"

I felt my shoulders sagging, finally admitting defeat. I sighed.

"So it's real."

"Very."

"And now he walks the same path you did. All those years ago…"

"Yes. But Ares and his training doesn't seem to be enough for Luca."

"Ares can be brutal."

"And if he isn't enough…"

The look we shared said everything.

"I'm calling all friends…", he began.

"You can't re-activate an ex-ANBU unit because of a rebellious teenager, Kotetsu, no matter how much he means to you."

"Watch me."

* * *

><p><strong>Luca POV<strong>

I looked up slowly at my own reflection; droplets of water fell down in the sink as the man I didn't recognize looked back from the mirror. He looked older. Tired. Beaten up; literally. His bottom lip was split and so was his eyebrow. He had a nasty bruise on his jaw, but no black eyes. Some would say it was a "bad boy" kinda look and I've heard some girls loved it. Not that I've even given a damn about that. Once I would have wondered if Hajime would like it or hate it. Now the thought of him only made me feel numb from the inside, like I was high on painkillers.

Painkillers I should probably take for all those literal body traumas. Fuck it. Pain distracted me from thinking too much. About anything.

I walked out of the café's toilet and sat back at the table by the window. The waitress came to refill my cup, smiling widely. Ah, probably a fan of the "bad boy" look then. Whatever.

I looked out of the window. I liked this town. I had met some… interesting people here. Interesting new hobbies. Pity my time was running out.

I looked back at my cell phone and my Mom's message. _"U had ur time. ANBU's coming for u."_

So. Going back on my own or waiting for the black op-s to drag me kicking and screaming?

I guess it was never really a question.

But first… one last time. One last fix.

**А.****N.** _Wherever I may roam_ is a song by Metallica.


	8. Chapter 7 - The first rule

**A.N.** Hello again and thank you for all the nice reviews! :) For those of you wondering what Luca was up to, here's ch. 7

**Chapter 7 – The first rule of the Fight club**

**Sakura POV**

No matter what he thinks, I know Luca. I know what he thinks. Tell him a team of highly trained soldiers is coming for him and he'll come back right away. Not because he's afraid – hardly. He'll come on his own to preserve his own dignity.

Nevertheless thanks to those same highly trained soldiers I was instantly alerted when the lights in his apartment were turned on. It took me a few minutes to find myself in front of his door, banging on it, yelling to be let it.

"You better let me in right the fuck now, Lucas, or else…!"

"Or else what, Mom?", he smiled arrogantly as he opened the door.

My hand fell down, limp; I knew I was gaping. And then I was hyperventilating. His smile transformed into worry – for me.

"Now, Mom, it's not so bad, I promise… Damn it, _that's_ why I didn't want to call you right away…"

"What… how… WHAT THE FUCK, LUCAS!"

He was all black and blue. And bloody. Bleeding like a slaughtered beast.

"Mom… "

"Sit."

"I'm okay."

"YOU ARE ANYTHING BUT OKAY! SIT THE FUCK NOW!"

He did, reluctantly. I raked a shaky hand through my hair, took a deep breath and then went straight for the bathroom and his first aid kit. He looked ready to argue when I got back with it, but it took only one glare to make him shut up. He patiently endured as I took off his shirt, swallowing a gasp and maybe some curses. Ino would have begun silently weeping if she saw him right now. Fuck, she would probably cry even if she saw him _days_ later.

I took a fortifying breath and began cleaning his wounds.

He opened his mouth.

"No", I said.

He frowned.

"No, I did not spend seven hours painfully giving birth to you, so you could get yourself killed 19 years later!"

I knew my hands were shaking just as much as my voice.

He had the decency to sound somewhat guilty when he said quietly,

"I promise, Mom, this is not a suicidal act. It looks worse than it actually is."

It took me a second to be able to form a proper demand.

"…This has got to stop, Luca."

It took him another second to reluctantly mutter,

"…I know."

It was only later that I realized he had not actually promised it will.

* * *

><p><strong>Hajime POV<strong>

"So, about those math lessons, do you think you can come to my place tonight?", I asked.

Keita frowned. "I'm hardly a good teacher, Hajime."

"You study Economics", I reminded dryly.

Keita was somewhat more withdrawn these days. Sometimes I felt like he was secretly mad at me. I'd asked him more than once what was wrong but he never told me.

"Maybe I miss my math teacher", I sighed.

"_Maybe_? _Maybe_ you only miss your _teacher_?"

And again Keita sounded angry with me for some reason, but before I could ask him a low murmur distracted me and I looked around the cafeteria at my university. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

"What the… Do you see anyth-…", I turned to ask Keita, only to see him gaping at something. I turned at that direction and immediately gaped as well.

Someone looking vaguely like my best friend was walking toward us. Yes, that was his usual swagger; but he looked nothing like himself. His long black mane was cut to short spikes and I felt a pang of sadness – I've always liked his hair. And I never told him it looked good when it was long and pulled back in a ponytail. And now the ponytail was gone, reduced to… spikes. Not the gelled kind ones, but the tousled, more natural kind.

And then, another pang, as I saw the bruises on his face. The way his split lip must have ached when he smiled. And this was not his usual bright smile. It was an arrogant smirk, a grimace, that, as we saw when he took off his sunglasses, didn't reach his eyes.

He sat down next to us, looking absolutely nonchalant.

"Wassup, guys?"

"_Wassup_? You disappear for half a month, you come back looking like this and _you_ ask _us_ _**wassup**_?!", I burst out. "What happened to you?!"

"Life", he answered dodgely, looking at his watch. "Aw, would you look at that? My History of Art lecture begins in five minutes. I better get going, huh? See you guys later."

And just like that he stood up, winked arrogantly and disappeared again.

I felt I was gaping again.

"What the…?"

* * *

><p><strong>Kotetsu POV<strong>

I took a deep breath before I stepped into the training room. It had been a while.

Ares, the only one in the room at that time, looked up for a second then continued throwing the punches.

"I didn't give him those", he suddenly said.

"Hm?", I muttered distractedly.

"The bruises on his face. I didn't give him those", he repeated.

"Oh."

"You know what this means", he continued, still punching the bag.

"He never said anything. He could have asked, I could have found him the best teachers, I even offered to introduce him to Seito, the iaido sensei…"

"Hagane." Ares looked at me pointedly. _"You know it doesn't work this way"_, this look said.

"He never said anything", I stubbornly insisted.

"Well, you know what the first rule of the Fight club is", Ares reminded.

"You never talk about it…", I muttered, mostly to myself.

So that's what Luca had been up to when he was away. A fight club. With even lesser rules than even Ares had. Fighting till someone is knocked out. Or worse…

"I have to go", I suddenly said, barely acknowledging Ares' grunt of agreement.


	9. Chapter 8 - That conversation

**Chapter 8 – That conversation**

**Luca POV**

I kind of knew what to expect when the doorbell rang that insistently. Call it a sixth sense but I knew who I was going to see when I open the door.

Kotetsu's dark expression confirmed my worst expectations. I sighed.

"So, it's time then." My voice sounded hollow. "For that conversation."

He nodded grimly.

"Can we… not talk about it?", I tried.

He shook his head, looking even more determined.

I sighed again and stepped back, letting him in. I didn't need to tell him to take a seat or grab something from the fridge – he knew he was always welcome. Even when I didn't want to talk. Like now.

I busied myself making some coffee while Kotetsu chose to sit on one of the high stools next to the counter.

"I should have let you join the Academy", he suddenly said, quietly. "At least that way you'd always be right in front of me and I would have known if you'd gotten yourself in a mess like that."

"You're not the one to preach to me about ways to vent, Kotetsu-san. I'm not stupid. I know you've been there, done that."

"Not quite _that_."

"You introduced me to Ares."

"And maybe it was a mistake. Since you didn't stop with Ares' already brutal enough training. No, you had to join a fight club! A fight club!"

"…It helps me, Kotetsu-s…"

"Damn it, boy! You could have been killed! You could have died, Luca! How would I face your mothers!? How would I face myself!?"

I had never heard him yell like that. I'd never seen him so frustrated.

What he said next was barely a whisper; but to me it sounded harsher than his yelling had been.

"How would I face _Hajime_?"

"He doesn't care…"

"For fuck's sake, Luca, you're his best friend…!"

"And it ain't fucking enough for me, cuz I fucking love him! I have fucking loved him since the fucking kindergarten and you know that!"

It was supposed to be scream, a yell, but even I could hear the sob held within it. And I could do nothing to suppress it anymore.

The silence that followed it was deafening. Louder than the yell itself. Finally, it was Kotetsu who broke it.

"I think you need a better way to deal with… all of this. A better focus. Throwing the punches obviously didn't help. So maybe you need to look inside yourself."

I could guess what he was hinting about. And why the hell not? I had tried everything else.

* * *

><p><strong>Hajime POV<strong>

It took him two weeks to send me that message.

"_Be down at 8 am tomorrow if you want a ride to school ."_

I had never felt that nervous when it came to Luca as I felt just now. He was my best friend, for Kami's sake! And there I was, fidgeting as I waited for him in front of my flat.

The roar of the engine foretold his arrival before I could even see the car; as usual he drove like hell hounds were chasing him and I found I was actually glad that at least that hadn't changed. The breaks cried when he stopped abruptly right in front of me and he looked impatient, as if I was supposed to already be in the car. I hurried to comply with that dark look.

When I got on the passenger seat next to him my ears immediately registered the song – Metallica's _I disappear_. Blame it on my parents, but I also am a fan of the old school hard rock. And then something else flashed through my mind.

"_What the hell is that?", I asked._

_The bloke from last night looked at me like I was crazy to ask, as if everyone knew. "_One direction_, of course. They're very popular."_

I knew he could never be more than someone to briefly fool around with.

And then something else, with someone I actually saw as a close friend…

"_Keita, what the fuck is that?"_

"_Just some nice, chilling music, Hajime. By people who don't actually scream and call it singing."_

"_They call it real music, idiot!"_

Luca… Luca has always had a good taste for music. He's always known what to listen to when we were going to school. It has always been… so easy with him. Comfortable…

But now the lyrics had a different meaning to me.

_"Do you bury me when I'm gone_  
><em>Do you teach me when I'm here<em>  
><em>Just as soon as I belong<em>  
><em>Then it's time I disappear…"<em>

"You're not gonna do that again… are you?", I suddenly blurted.

"Hm?", he frowned.

He looked strange today: something between angry and somewhat subdued by something, a thought that was occupying his mind even now. Gone was the goofy smile. And his bruises looked even worse now.

"You… you won't disappear like that again, will you?"

I guess my voice sounded weak and pained enough that his expression softened and he said quietly,

"I don't plan to."

"What happened to you? Will you ever tell me?"

He kept quiet, but I could see the answer to that question was the same as his last one.

"You used to tell me everything…"

But even as I said it I felt the doubt rising again. Has he really told me everything? Probably not if I had to judge by his slight wince when I said that.

"What happened to us…?"

And even to me my voice sounded hollow and pained.

Luca's jaw clenched. But his eyes were just as sad when he quietly said, "I don't know…"


	10. Chapter 9 - Realization, finally

**A.N.** Wow. So. I got, like 16 fanmails for a night or so and let me tell you this: it makes an author happy. Like, so happy and smiling before even her morning coffee (which is a miracle, really, good work guys!) :) So thanks to **MorrethIsCool, Ella459** and of course **ZepphyraSnowStorm **for actually making me want to go on with this story :)

**Chapter 9 – Realization, finally**

**Hajime POV**

Luca kept driving me to school. But otherwise he remained distanced, like never before. He never told me the story of his bruises. He also kept disappearing somewhere after his lectures for the day were over. I would have freaked out if he didn't come back every morning to pick me up; in fact I still kept freaking out for the moments I waited for him to show up, wondering if he will. But as he kept showing up and the bruises finally healed, never replaced with new ones, I finally allowed myself to calm down a little.

While not exactly hostile, Keita also remained a bit distanced, or at least compared to before Luca disappeared for half a month. Sometimes I caught him glancing at Luca with something between pity and understanding; and sometimes I caught him staring at me with that same anger I couldn't understand.

Kotetsu also seemed weird these days. Most of the time I was around him, and especially if Luca was mentioned, I felt like he barely stopped himself from shaking his head at me.

Photography seemed to have lost its appeal to me at the moment. Or so my teachers said. Anything I handed them as a complete assignment was described as "plain and boring".

"Where's your spark, boy? What happened to your… inspiration?", one of my professors asked.

What indeed?

"Maybe you need some time off. You know, figure yourself out… or something", Akira suggested.

I narrowed my eyes.

"Are you looking for a way to chase me off, so you can have the apartment for yourself for the weekend?"

He smiled in a totally charming way, that could in no way feign innocence. "Nope", he tried.

I shook my head. "Fine. But I want it clean when I get back, you hear me?"

He beamed. "Thanks, aniki."

"Where's my hug?"

He glared. I gave up, lifting my hands in surrender.

"Okay. No pressure."

* * *

><p>Booking a small cottage house in the nearby mountains was easy. Escaping Konoha wasn't.<p>

Even convincing Izumo to let me take his car wasn't that hard as actually making it past the city centre.

"Come ooooon…", I muttered, annoyed at the traffic jam. I glanced at the nearest sign that said "Under construction" and wondered if some unknown force was trying to tell me to get the fuck back.

I sighed again and pulled out my cellphone. It was a habit when stuck in a traffic jam, so I didn't even think about the current situation when I dialed Luca's number.

_"Hello?"_, he answered.

That's when it came to me, that with the way things were between us at the moment he probably wasn't in the mood for a "just to pass some time" talk.

"Um. Hi. So. I'm stuck."

_"Huh?"_

"In a traffic jam."

He sighed. _"I'm in the middle of class, so…"_

Which had never been a problem until now.

"Oh. Okay. Sorry.", I muttered.

_"Look, Hajime…"_

"I'm sorry", I blurted. I knew I sounded weird and stupid and not like myself, but once I'd started, I just had to say it. "I don't really know what for, but I've obviously done something worse than my usual bullshit. I know I'm not a good friend…"

_"Hajime…"_

"No, let me say this! But what we have… what … you… are important to me and…"

And that's when it happened.

I didn't really know what, in that moment, but later they told me it had been a gas explosion. All I knew was that something shook me, hard, and there was a commotion, blackness, some sort of dull pain…

And a voice.

_"HAJIME!"_

Luca.

"L…ca…"

_"HAJIME! Hajime! Listen to me! Where are you!? Where was the explosion?!"_

I could faintly hear other voices around him and one probably told him something they'd heard, because the next thing Luca said was, _"I'm coming! Just… hang in there! Talk to me!"_

Talk. But it's hard…

_"Hajime!"_

Okay, okay…

"…'s dark."

_"Oh, Kami… Can you… no, don't move! I'm coming, babe, just hang in for a bit…"_

…Babe…?

Was that…? He sounded freaked out, maybe he'd just blurted it by a mistake…

Or a slip…

_"Talk to me!"_, he reminded. _"Are you in pain?"_

"… kinda…"

_"What does that mean, kinda!? Where? Is it… strong, sharp, or a dull ache?"_

"…dull…"

The roar of the car engine on his end of the line sounded familiar.

"Lu…"

_"Yeah? I'm coming, babe, I'm close already, just a moment…"_

Here it is again. So it's probably not… not a mistake…

Then…

But his distant demeanor…

What. Just what the fuck.

The roar of the engine had stopped. I could hear him running, swearing colorfully, shouting something to a cop, who'd probably tried to stop him. I could hear my dads' names as Luca used them, shouting them at the cops so they would let him pass.

And then he paused. And his silence was probably scarier than his shouts.

"d..'s it… look bad?", I asked.

I could hear him gulp.

_"No. It's gonna be okay",_ he lied bravely. _"I'm gonna close now, so I can come to you."_

It felt like only a second passed and Luca's scared face peaked down at me.

Wait, down?

He tried to smile bravely again.

"Hey there."

"Hi."

"The paramedics are coming. I, er… Well. Let's wait till they say what to do."

So he was afraid to move me.

"Here", he held out his hand. "You can hold on. If you want to."

I wanted to. So I did. I grabbed his hand and held on it with as much force as I was capable.

Luca kept talking to me, trying to lighten the mood. I could see and feel his strain, how much it took him to keep the pose and not completely lose it. But he was trying. For me.

It took the medics what seemed to be a decade to finally arrive, pull Luca back and start pulling me out from under what I figured was the car, turned on its roof. They stopped for a bit when I yelled, the dull pain in my leg becoming sharp; Luca was yelling just as much as I did, only he was yelling at the paramedics. They ignored that, having probably gotten used to it. They explained to me that I had a broken leg, but they did have to pull me out (as gently as they could), so I had to bear with it for a bit. Luca insisted on painkillers. The paramedics exasperatedly explained they had no room to actually apply some while I was stuck under a car. Luca didn't stop arguing while they did start to pull me out anyway.

When I was finally free from under the wreckage and put on a stretcher I felt like I was finally going to lose consciousness. Luca's face swam in and out as he bent down over me. Was he crying? I couldn't tell for sure. But in the seconds before I lost consciousness I clearly heard him say, _"I love you"_, right before his chapped lips touched mine and the whiteness engulfed me.

* * *

><p>When I (kind of) woke up again, everything was still white, but that whiteness was contained in a room. A hospital room. My vision was blurry, so I couldn't tell much more, but that much I knew – I was in a hospital room, which is never good.<p>

There were three blurry silhouettes at the corner of the room – one was pacing, the other looked tired, his head resting in his hands, arms bent on his knees; the third seemed to be somehow trying to soothe the second, his hand rubbing small circles on the second person's shoulder.

"You need some rest. Go home, Luca."

Was that Kotetsu's voice?

"…I can't. You know I can't."

Luca sounded… pained?

"You know we'll call you when he's awake", Kotetsu tried again. He looked up towards the pacing figure. The third person's frantic steps halted and Izumo's voice said,

"Of course we will."

"It's not about… I don't doubt you'll call, I just… I need to see when he opens his eyes", Luca all but whispered.

The two blurry figures of my fathers exchanged a look and Kotetsu patted Luca's back with sympathy. Izumo finally sat down and threw a protective arm over Luca's shoulders.

"I know it's not the best time, but…Tell him. When he wakes up, fucking finally tell him", Kotetsu insisted.

Luca only bent his head further down.

The whiteness became more than just a room again.


	11. Chapter 10 - Cautiously aware

**Chapter 10 – Cautiously aware**

**Hajime POV**

When I woke up again, fully this time, only Kotetsu was in the room. He smiled tiredly, but I didn't return that. Something else occupied my mind. Luca's confession and the bits of an eavesdropped conversation both led to something I was almost scared to acknowledge. But I couldn't have been mistaken twice.

"How long?", I croaked

"Hm? You've been unconscious for a day and a half…"

"Luca", I interrupted him quickly, determined to finally have my answer. "When they pulled me out and before I blacked out… he said something. Like… like a confession".

"Really?", Kotetsu looked genuinely surprised.

I nodded.

"And… when you thought I was sleeping, I heard something."

"Oh…"

"Dad…"

His brow twitched. I knew it was a low blow, but calling him like that always gave me what I wanted.

"It's not my place to tell you this", he said.

"Please", I insisted. "Just… tell me something small. The most essential."

He looked up and I held his gaze.

"Is it true?", I asked.

He just nodded solemnly.

"For how long?", I asked weakly.

"For as long as I knew him. 14 years."

I gulped dryly. "It can't be."

It was laughable. 14 years, everyday together and I hadn't noticed anything? It just wasn't possible!

"It's not possible", I muttered stubbornly to myself.

Kotetsu just sighed.

* * *

><p>With my luck, of course it was Sakura, who came to see how my stitches were healing.<p>

"Looks good to me. Heals nicely, might not even leave a scar", she smiled the motherly smile I knew since I was a kid. I took a deep breath.

"Sakura, I need to ask you something."

"Mhm?"

"Has Luca really…", I gulped, my throat suddenly dry.

"Mm? Has he what?"

"He… said something. And my dad said something. And I… I can't believe them, I mean, I would have noticed…!"

"No, you wouldn't, Hajime", she sighed. "You chose not to."

"…What?"

"You chose to accept his confessions as jokes. You chose to see a smile he designed mostly for you… And you chose to not see when it started to fade."

"What… what are you saying…?"

"I'm saying I was the one who patched him up when he came back from what could have literally killed him and I know just how much it costs him to channel his feelings and the emotions he just can't mask as jokes and smiles anymore."

She took a deep breath and I saw how much it cost _her_ to not scream at me.

"I'm not telling you you must accept his feelings. But at least have the courage to outright tell him a decent 'no', so he could… carry on."

I was still dumbfounded when she started walking towards the door. But I had to snap out of it and say at least one more thing…

"I'm sorry."

She turned back, confused.

"I'm really sorry, Sakura. I'd understand if you hate me, but I… I just… this is the first time I…"

She sighed again.

"I don't hate you, Hajime, and it's not me you should apologize to. Just… have some rest. And think about what I said."

I nodded dumbly. "I… I will. Thank you."

She nodded back and closed the door.

* * *

><p>Keita had mostly acted like his usual self when he came to see me, goofy smile on, hands full of junk food. His smile faded when I told him about my revelations. He was the next person to sigh dramatically and sit down in the nearest chair with an almost despaired expression on his face; an expression which read "Seriously, man, how stupid are you?"<p>

"That's why you were always angry with me these days."

It wasn't a question, so he didn't answer me. He was looking at me thoughtfully, with narrowed eyes, like he was trying to read me.

"You still don't believe this."

It was my turn to not answer this.

Keita suddenly smiled.

"You know what, I'm pretty sure I still keep those pictures."

"What pictures?"

"From our childhood", he shook his head, laughing. "Luca always used to glare at me when I got near you."

"Glare? Why glare?"

Keita's smile was pitying. "He was jealous, obviously. He kept glaring at me till I got my first girlfriend. And even then he needed some more time, and some more girlfriends on my part, to be sure I was gonna stick with girls and wouldn't actually turn out to be a bi and a potential thread again", Keita laughed.

"This is so surreal", I growled. "I wake up one day and suddenly everyone but me's aware that my best friend has...a crush on me."

"Oh, Hajime, it would have been so simple if it'd been only a crush", Keita shook his head. "It's much deeper than that and you have to finally acknowledge it."

He stood up to leave and patted my uninjured leg compassionately.

"Do what Sakura said. Think about it. No one's gonna force you into anything. But at least give the guy some kind of an answer. Be it an acceptation… or a simple closure."

He was already by the door when he paused again and turned around.

"Oh, right, there's something else I think you should know. I can't be 100% sure but I think he saw you fooling around with some guy in that club, right before he disappeared. Just… have that in mind, whatever you decide to do about… everything."

And then he also left, leaving me more confused than ever.


	12. Chapter 11 - Answer

**Chapter 11 - Answer**

**Luca's POV**

Hajime's message was quite clear.

"_Come see me at the hospital. We need to talk."_

Huh. Short and simple and totally capable of ruining me.

"At least it seems like you'd get your answer."

I jumped up and looked back to see my sister peeking over my shoulder. I hadn't heard her coming in.

"Whatever do you mean…?", I muttered, already kind of regretting ever giving the little monster a key for my own place.

"Luca", her serious voice made me look up at her. "The whole world knows that you love him. And finally he knows it too."

"How…?"

"Well, you literally told him so, right?"

"But I haven't told _you_ that I'd told him!"

She lowered her voice, very successfully feigning a creepy whisper."I have been in your mind, brother. It's a dark and messy place."

That finally made me crack a smile and she grinned winningly. She grabbed my hand and squeezed reassuringly.

"Whatever his answer is, just knowing it will free you on some level", she said wisely.

I knew she was right. I just hoped, kind of naively, that his answer will free us both; together.

* * *

><p>Hajime looked even smaller on the hospital bed. He'd always hated when people called him short, small, tiny etc. so I kept that thought to myself. His leg was in a heavy cast and he looked quite miserable. His expression cleared a little when I stepped in, but then his eyes darkened with worry and nervousness.<p>

I should have known those weren't good signs.

"Hi", he said weakly.

"Hello", I tried to smile as best as I could, given my own nervousness. "How are you?"

"Good, good. They're gonna discharge me tomorrow."

"That's…"

"Good. Yeah."

Awkward silence followed, both of us reluctant to bring up the real issue.

He finally cleared his throat.

"So… I heard what you said when they pulled me out."

I gulped dryly, unable to meet his eyes. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. And… once I started asking, people suddenly seemed very willing to tell me how blind I've been… for a while."

I just kept staring at the floor.

"They told me…. Fourteen years, Luca."

I just shrugged.

"You could have told me. Straight on, no jokes."

It was finally too much. I looked up. "And if I had? What would your answer have been?"

He faltered. And I could already see the rejection in his eyes. But like the masochist I was, I waited till he said the words, waiting for the sting.

"I… You're my best friend, Luca, I can't… I can't see you like that."

I could feel the way my brow furrowed and I barely suppressed the need to rub my chest, right over my heart. Damn. That really did hurt. Still did, after everything, after I'd expected the blow.

I plastered a fake smile on my face, hoping it didn't look as painful as it felt.

"Yeah. Of course. It's only natural." I stood up quickly, needing to get the hell out of there as soon as possible. "I'll leave you to rest then."

"Luca!"

It sounded almost like a sob. And like a spell, it made me stop and listen.

"Please don't go!"

Another stab in my heart. Funny I still felt every one of those. After so many I would have expected that stupid heart to go numb.

"Please… don't disappear again… Promise me you won't!"

"I… won't. I just need some space. You could at least grant me as much, right?"

"As long as you stay in Konoha…"

"Sure", I muttered before finally making it to the door. The last thing I heard before I left was a tearful _"I'm sorry."_


	13. Chapter 12 - Busy

**A.N.** First of all, thank you for reviewing :) Also, Happy Easter (as an orthodox, I'm about to celebrate it this Sunday ;)) And last: yes, this chapter is short. So will be the next one, in order to prepare you for some development :)

**Chapter 12 - Busy**

**Hajime POV**

Luca kept his promise and stayed in Konoha. He kept coming to the university and kept disappearing right after the classes were over. All things considered, he seemed to stay on the right path – he studied diligently, took Karen from school, worked part-time, looked healthy. He slipped just once. And everyone could see just when it happened.

And it happened a few days after we talked in the hospital and they discharged me a little bit later. Luca came to school all beaten up again, with bruises nearly as bad as the first time. Before I could properly confront him a screech of tires announced the arrival of… Kotetsu?

My father grabbed Luca by the collar and dragged him to a more private spot under a tree where he seemed to rant and rave at him. Luca looked rebellious at the beginning, frowning and grunting something back, but then after Kotetsu had obviously mentioned something that hit the right place, Luca's face turned properly ashamed. He nodded, looking down. Kotetsu looked like he sighed deeply but with a few more words he left and Luca hurried to his next classes.

Days and weeks later the bruises on Luca's face healed, and so did my leg; the cast was finally removed. Luca looked gloomy and kept his distance from people in general. Keita was one of the very few people, who seemed to have broken Luca's defense walls and could talk to him and actually get some answers back. Seeing as I was one of those people Luca kept his distance from, naturally, I kept pestering Keita for information.

"How is he? Is he alright?"

Keita sighed dramatically. "As fine as a guy can be."

"But he's not… not into anything shady, right?"

Another sigh. "Not anymore. For now."

"What does that mean!?"

"Means I'm not telling you anything more." Keita stood up to leave, annoyed.

"Kei! Wait! Where does he go every day after classes?"

Keita paused. "He keeps himself busy."

"Busy" suddenly became a theme with Luca.

He was "busy" when I called his Moms to ask how he was (was it just me, or Ino sounded openly hostile when she talked to me?), he was "busy" according to Karen too (kid hated me right now… yep), he was "busy" all of his other friends and acquaintances said.

Lately, when I had the chance to see him, he looked not just gloomy, but… somehow in deep thought. He looked… focused somehow.

But… focused on what?


	14. Chapter 13 - Faint

**Chapter 13 – Faint***

**Hajime POV**

More time passed. Luca was still distant, still needing time, I guessed.

Kami, I missed him. Keita is cool and all that, but with Luca… it's always been different. I have always known he'd understand me, whatever it was I needed him to understand and that's why he was my confidant, my best friend…

My best friend who wanted more… with me.

Some friend I was, never having noticed that. Sakura's words kept coming back to me. _"You __**chose**__ not to notice."_

I sighed again, looking down at the meal I was just poking at. I didn't feel like eating. I stood up and just put the food back in the fridge.

* * *

><p>Feeling restless without Luca around me and with my life as messed up as the recent revelations had made it, I decided to take a page out of my dads' book and actually immerse myself in some kind of sport.<p>

Well… maybe doing around 100 push-ups, after half an hour at the punching bag, when you have never trained anything in your life, wasn't very smart…

"Aniki… maybe you should slow down for now. I mean, that's far from a beginner's level."

My little brother, who looked much tougher than me by the way, sounded really concerned. I stood up to (hopefully) stare superiorly down at him.

"Enough drama, Kira, I'm totally…."

My head suddenly felt light and full of white smoke. My body swayed. I heard Akira yell a terrified "Aniki!" right before I fell.

* * *

><p>"Severe dehydratation, undernourishment…", the doctor rattled.<p>

"Undernourishment?!", Kotetsu sounded scandalized. "What? _How_?", he asked me, as if accusing me of a crime.

I shrugged. "I didn't feel like eating… the past… few days."

"Few days!?", Kotetsu erupted, while Izumo threw his hands in the air, shaking his head.

"And of course you decided to do push-ups, for the first time in your life, when you hadn't eaten in days!", he grumbled.

Akira shook his head. Even Lulu looked at me like she was judging me.

"Seeing as I'm in a hospital, can we at least postpone the talk of what an idiot I am for, I don't know, later?!", I growled, annoyed.

Heavy footsteps right in front of the door to my hospital room made us all look up in that direction right as the door burst open, and a panting figure dressed in what looked like a traditional kimono stood there. The man looked at me, his eyes containing pure horror.

It was Luca.

Luca in a iaido uniform.

Luca stood there… in those clothes… his short dark hair a messy disarray of spikes, a light sheen of sweat on his brow, panting… The shitagi was slightly opened, revealing his muscular chest…

He looked….

I'll be damned, but he looked…

He was the sexiest sight I have ever seen.

**A.N. *** there's a song called like that by _Rungran_. I quite like it and I think it matches the last few moments of this chapter ;) Also, next chapter will be much more long and eventful, promise. To speed up its uploading you may review ;)


	15. Chapter 14 - Awkward questions

**A.N.** The song from the scene at the club is DJ Z-trip and Chester Bennington's _The Waking Dead_. I strongly recommend you listen to it while reading that part, in order to better get the mood.

**Chapter 14 – Awkward questions and clarity**

**Hajime POV**

Luca cleared his throat awkwardly, looking away.

"I heard you collapsed", he said quietly.

"Yep. Brother totally overdid it", Akira announced.

"Shut up!", I snapped, but it sounded weak even to my own ears.

"I see you're fine now. I'll leave you to rest", Luca said.

The words "leave you" left a bitter taste in my mouth. I wanted to say something, ask him to stay, ask him to fucking talk to me for a bit. But I couldn't. Seeing him there, in that uncommon outfit, accenting an amazing body I have never really noticed before, made me speechless. I felt as if I saw him for the first time ever.

Luca nodded briskly, turned around and left without another word.

* * *

><p>It took me two days to convince the doctors and my fathers that I am well hydrated, well-fed, and generally well enough to go back to school. It took me two minutes to spot Luca once I stepped in the yard.<p>

He sat at a table not far from me, reading a book and sipping from a cup of coffee that I knew was so black that it was close to poisonous. He wore simple dark jeans and a plain white shirt, pulling a little tight at his shoulders and pectorals. He looked very concentrated in the book he was reading. The serious look suited him.

And so did that shirt…

Wait… what?

* * *

><p>"<em>Are you <span>sure<span> you're eating enough?"_, Izumo's voice asked.

"For the 100th time, Dad, yes, I'm sure I consume enough of the food you send me via my brother."

"_What was the last thing I sent?"_

I sighed. "Ratatouille. It was delicious."

"_I know, right?"_ his smug voice made me grin, and even harder when he cleared his throat and said authoritatively, _"I'm glad you liked it. And ate it!"_

"All of it, I promise."

"_Good, good. I'm making you a veggie-lasagna right now. Kotetsu's making that roasted beef for dinner, so grab Luca and drop by."_

"Yeah, well, I don't know if he wants to see me right n-…"

"_That's the roasted beef for, dummy."_

"…Are you bribing my best friend with food so he could spend time with us?"

"…_No?"_

I forced a chuckle. "I'll see what I can do about it. Bye, Dad", I said, ending the call.

Still walking through the hallway I looked around. Keita was just passing by.

"Hey, Kei, have you seen Luca?"

"Nah, he went home already. Said something about letting off some steam after school."

I frowned. "Did he say where?"

"Haven't heard of the place. _Eclipse_ or something like that."

"Yeah… thanks."

Come to think of it, I could use a drink.

* * *

><p>The club was located in a dark alley, close, but at the same time far from the main streets, as if it didn't really want to be found by anyone who didn't know exactly where they're going. There were no flashy signs or lights. The name was painted on the wall, in some remarkably well-done graffiti. There were no security guards or anything.<p>

It was dark inside and only some faint bluish lights made it possible for anyone to see where they were going. The music wasn't anything like Luca's usually preferred hard rock style. It sounded nearly gothic and held that same darkness as everything around here seemed to have. The vocalist had an amazing voice, drawing you in this whole new world…

"_In the chill of the night__  
><em>_I can feel my heart racing__  
><em>_As I run towards the light__  
><em>_that seems so far away__  
><em>_Wondering forever__  
><em>_In the darkest of shadows__  
><em>_Wondering if I will ever see you again__…__"_

I felt a chill running through my body as I listened to the words and that enchanting voice. Many of the patrons were on the dance floor, bodies writhing in the sinful rhythm. I gulped dryly, needing a drink. It was then that I realized how spacious the place actually was, big enough for a huge dance floor and three bars. I chose the closest one, managing to find myself a free spot and half-shout "A double Jack" to the bartender, who nodded to indicate he had heard me.

"_Wondering if I will ever see you again__…__"_

I turned around just in time to spot a familiar head of dark spikes, sipping a drink by one of the other bars. He wore a black t-shirt (black seemed to be a preferred color here) with the logo of some hard rock band and a pair of dark jeans. The dark shirt looked just as good on him as the white one had. He on the other hand looked wound-up, tensed, gulping his drink and ordering another one. Some other guy came closer to him, smiling flirtatiously as he engaged Luca in some meaningless small talk.

"He's quite hot, isn't he?", someone said.

I turned around to find the bartender, a tough looking guy about our age, smiling knowingly at me. I opened my mouth, ready to protest that I wasn't really ogling Luca, that he was my best friend and all, but the man just smiled wider and said,

"You're exactly his type."

"His type?", I found myself blurting out.

The bartender nodded. "He likes blondes. Whenever he has actually left with someone, it's been a blonde."

"_Whenever he has actually left with someone…?"_

"Is that often?", again, I couldn't hold back the question.

The bartender's smile was a mix of pity for me and maybe some for Luca too, because he shook his head and said,

"No. He said once, when he was really drunk, something about looking for eyes, that held every possible color there was...", he looked at me carefully and frowned a little. "Eyes like yours…"

I gulped down my drink, asking for another one, as I turned back to stare at Luca and the unknown blond guy, who was all but draped over him now. Something dark and unnamed curled inside me and all I wanted in that moment was to go there and strangle the stranger. He slipped a hand up Luca's thigh and I literally saw red! The fucking slut! Who the hell does he think he is!

"_I'll take your love__  
><em>_(I'll take your love)__  
><em>_I'll take your hate__  
><em>_(take your hate)__  
><em>_I'll take your desire__…__"_

"By the way I'm Hiro", the bartender said.

"I'm…", I started, but he grinned harder, cutting me off.

"Jealous", he finished.

I gaped. And then gaped some more, not even able to argue from the shock. I had just been given a name for the dark feeling in my chest. Hiro smiled charmingly, with that unique understanding that every good bartender possesses.

"Go there."

I shook my head. I couldn't, no chance, not right now…

"Or…", Hiro pulled out a small card and slipped it towards me. There was just a name of… another club? And some address. "Come by that place. It's where we usually train, Luca and I."

I looked up, eyes wide with surprise, but Hiro just winked mischievously and went to pay attention to his other patrons. I slipped the card in my pocket for later use and turned around, just in time to see Luca turning the stranger down. Sighing with relief just made me realize how fucked up I actually was.

* * *

><p>The first attack took me by surprise and I barely moved out of the way of the katana. Immediately, a new swish followed, wide, but forceful, with a clear intent. I was backing off, panting, barely able to defend myself and keep away from the killing swipes of the sharp blade. He was strong, way stronger than me. He had me and we both knew it.<p>

The edge of the katana was finally pressed to the skin of my neck as my own weapon, close to useless so far, clinked on the floor. Our eyes met. Luca's unique green eyes reminded me of a tropical storm, a warrior's determination quite clear in them as he stared at me. I gulped, preparing myself for the end.

Luca dropped the weapon and kneeled right in front of me, shocking a gasp out of me.

"I surrender", he rasped out. "Do what you want with me."

My heart was racing. I kneeled down between his knees and slowly moved a hesitant hand down his neck. He never bent his head down, stubbornly proud, even as he had just surrendered. That awakened something wild in me and I grabbed the edges of his black kimono, pulling hard, revealing his muscular chest, now raising up and down as his own breathing was accelerated. I ran a hand down his body over his hard nipples. His jaw tightened and his lips thinned as he tried to contain a moan I knew was welling up inside him. I smiled cruelly.

"You're mine, Lucas."

"Always have been", he whispered brokenly, finally looking down, defeated.

I woke up startled, bolting up in my bed, gasping for air… staring in mortification at the tented sheet between my legs…

* * *

><p>Izumo laughed heartily.<p>

"So traditional clothes turn you on, huh? Heheh, your fathers' child!"

"What! Look I'm totally serious here, and not just a little freaked out, so can we just…"

"No, I'm serious too", he nodded. "You remember our wedding ceremony. It was traditional, so we wore kimonos." Izumo chuckled. "When we first saw each other in them, we were so turned on that I don't really know how we made it to the main event! We kept the kimonos, of course, and later on we miiiight have had some dirty…"

"Dad! WAY too much information!"

Izumo laughed again.

"Seriously, I'm freaking out here, I just told you I had a very vivid dream, involving my best friend in a very sexual situation that I am in no way prepared for!"

"Well, judging by your body's reaction you obviously are."

"Dad!"

He sighed. "Okay. Why don't you tell me what's really bothering you?"

"WHAT's bothering me!? WHAT he asks! That's my best friend we're talking about!"

"Who, as we already have established, is in love with you."

"Which still freaks me out!"

"Why?"

"THIS IS LUCA! The we-grew-up-together Luca I have known for ages! I cannot suddenly look at my best friend in that way!"

"Once again, since said best friend already looks at you in that way, I don't see the problem."

"The problem is in my head!"

"Ah, you said it…"

"It is me who cannot accept such a concept! It is me who thinks it is wrong of me to look at my best friend in that way! It is me who cannot imagine us having something like you and Kotetsu have!"

"Ah…", Izumo paused and then sighed. "Look, Hajime… I think it's time I tell you something. You seem to think the relationship your father and I have is… perfect."

"Well, yeah…"

"Well, it's not. At least, it hasn't always been."

He sighed again, as he slowly sat in a chair next to me. He frowned, as if the memory was quite painful.

"Before we became like this… and it's a miracle really we ever became like this… before we had you… I… hurt your father… very badly."

He looked down, blinking hard, looking quite ashamed of himself. Still, after all those years.

"I did something… unspeakable and … could never hope for him to forgive me for something I couldn't forgive myself. But… he did. He was, is and always will be the stronger between us. What we have now could never exist if it wasn't for him."

"And when we started this, I think you promised me something."

We both turned to see Kotetsu, leaning on the doorframe, his expression unreadable.

"I think you promised me you will never again blame yourself for what happened then. Especially since it never happened again. Since I also have sins in this relationship. Should we both list every mistake each of us did?"

Izumo smiled bitterly. "One can forgive. One can be grateful for such forgiveness. But both can never forget."

"Not forgetting it has only made us stronger. As long we don't let the blame back", Kotetsu insisted.

Izumo's smile was still a little bitter as he shrugged and said quietly, "I was just telling our son that there was no such thing as a perfect relationship, no matter how it looks from the outside. There are always ups and downs. There are always battles and struggles if you want to have something meaningful."

Kotetsu stepped closer and put a reassuring hand on Izumo's shoulder. Izumo's hand covered Kotetsu's and he looked back, smiling with something between gratefulness and an apology. Kotetsu's answering smile seemed to ground him.

Could I have something like this with Luca? Something this… deep and real?

In that moment of stunning clarity I finally realized and admitted to myself that… I wanted to. I wanted to at least try.

* * *

><p><strong>Luca POV<strong>

Using the keys I still had for my parents' house, I stepped in, inhaling deeply. It smelled like Ino's patented chazuke. In other words, a type of comfort food. But comforting for whom?

I could hear the sounds of someone chopping yet more vegetables and I slipped into the kitchen, sneaking behind her only to bend down and kiss her cheek.

"Hi, Mom."

Ino smiled lovingly at me.

"Were you out last night?", she asked.

"Yep. Went to see Hiro at _Eclipse_."

"Hmmm…", she acknowledged. "Were you out till just now? It's almost 8 a.m."

"Nah, I went back to my place to change and grab Karen's things", I left her bag on the chair next to me. "She forgot it last time she came by and asked me to return it the next time I come here."

Ino smiled again, serving me a complicatedly arranged dish. She then sat down next to me and seemed content to just look at me, still smiling. I cleared my throat.

"Ok, what is it?"

"What is what?"

I nodded towards the dish. "Comfort food. Why?"

She shrugged. I knew I just had to give her time, to not push her if I really wanted her to tell me, so I kept quiet, waiting. She finally took a deep breath and spoke.

"When you were born… And then when Karen was born… There were people, who seemed to think that Sakura and I will love you more, respectively to which child each of us had given birth to", she shook her head. "In reality, Sakura insisted on giving birth to our first child, because she considered me too… frail to give birth. When she said so, she was worried that she had gotten too far, said too much, and I would maybe somehow come to love you less… because you weren't my flesh and blood and because she had said what she had said, hinting I wasn't as strong as she was, being capable to give birth to you. What I mean is… people were _wrong_. _Sakura_ was _wrong_. From the first moment I held you I knew that I'll love this little boy, who had Sakura's eyes and Sakura's skin and who looked nothing like me, but could be everything for me. Luca, I have always hoped… I've always prayed that you'd find someone who'd love you at least half as much as Sakura and I love you. Someone worthy of the amazing person that you are. Someone that will see you and cherish you for just being yourself, because that's more than enough."

"Mom…"

"No, hear me out! I know you have eyes only for Hajime, but are you sure he's that one person I just described?"

"…Mom…"

She sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose and her forehead with her free hand.

"I know. I know. It just hurts me when you're hurt. I might not be the one who gave birth to you, but you're still my baby boy."

I smiled to her and lifted her hand to my lips.

"I'll be alright, Mom. I promise."

She sighed again, before she returned my smile and kissed my brow… like she'd always done, ever since I was a boy. Her boy, her son in every sense of the word.

**A.N.** So here you are, probably the longest chapter I have written so far. I hope you enjoyed it. I added the scene with Luca and Ino in the end, kind of in the last moment, because I wanted to show how he's actually really close to both his parents, not just Sakura because she gave birth to him. That was kind of important for me, so I hope you appreciated it. If so, let me know :) Let me know about everything you think :D


	16. Chapter 15 - No take backs

**A.N.** Well... I really can't understand your reviewing pattern, if there even is one. I really was proud with the last chapter, as it was very emotional on many levels, but I hardly got a few (two, I think) reviews (thank you for those, to the ppl who reviewed). Anyway. Here's the culmination, hope you like it, since it took me a while to write it.

**Chapter 15 – No take backs**

**Hajime POV**

So, basically, I just had to go there and tell my best friend who loved me that I'm willing to try a… a relationship with him. No big deal, right? Yep. Piece of cake.

So why was I hyperventilating, pacing in front of his door?

Okay, Hajime, you can do that. Of course you can do that. Just… don't think about that dream and don't freak out and was that your hand, knocking on the door?! Are you an idiot, what are you gonna say, you're totally unprepared, you can't do this, you moron…!

The door opened. Luca stood there… with messy black hair… shirtless… with blotches of paint smeared on his bare skin… smoking a cigarette, eyes narrowed at me, staring thoughtfully through the smoke… Looking nothing like the kid I'd grown up with, but rather looking like…

Like a wet dream.

"Fuck this", I hissed.

And then I pounced.

* * *

><p><strong>Luca POV<strong>

He stood there, watching me. Dumbfounded. Maybe his fine sensibilities were offended by the sight of my bare chest and the pai-…

He hissed something and suddenly threw himself at me, arms wrapping around my neck and fingers digging into my hair. The sound I made was embarrassingly indignant in its surprise as I stumbled backwards and dropped the cigarette I was holding. I looked down, the flash of worry of a potential fire dying as our stumbling feet stepped over the now forgotten cigarette. Hajime's mouth attacked mine viciously, making me choke in surprise. When his tongue sought permission to slip past my lips I gave up for a second, letting him in, closing my eyes and letting down any defense. Just for a second, I could allow myself a stolen moment of perfection to mourn for later. For that one moment our tongues intertwined in a perfect sync, in a bittersweet dance, making my heart clench painfully as I pulled back.

"What… wait, I can't…", I stammered.

He shook his head quickly, stealing small kisses between his next words.

"This is not something casual… And it's not pity… I promise we'll talk. Just… not now…"

"Haji…me…", I moaned embarrassingly weakly.

"Later. I promise…", his lips ghosted around my ear as his hands slid up my chest in what looked like reverence. "Kami, you're… so… perfect…", he choked out, half surprised and half humbled. "When did you become so perfect?"

"I…", I tried again, but my attempt at speech was crushed as he pushed me down, straddling my hips and drawing a hand down my abs.

"I want to capture this in a thousand frames… in a thousand different angles and light… I thought you looked amazing in that iaido uniform… but you look even better without it… much… much better…", he whispered, transfixed as his fingers kept drawing patterns on my burning skin.

I gulped dryly. Tempting as all of this was, I had to make sure he knew what he was doi-…

He pulled his wandering hands back… only to pull off his own shirt. He looked down, smiling somewhat shyly. His voice shook a little as he said,

"It's not much. And I can't compare to you. But if you really want…"

It was my turn to sit up and grab his head, grab his soft blond hair and kiss him with everything I got. Every second of longing, yearning, dreaming and needing him. Every little fantasy of waking up next to him, making him laugh, making him moan, making him happy, making him mine… Everything I had ever desired with my whole being I poured in that kiss.

I finally pulled back a little, only to whisper over his lips,

"Please tell me you know what you're doing… Please tell me you are fully aware and really want this… Please… I'm begging you…"

Somewhere along that weak plea my head fell on his chest as I fought back tears of years of longing and barely contained passion. His fingers gently carded through my short hair and seconds later I felt his lips following them.

"I really want this. I promise you", he whispered.

"Then… not like this… I need… not on the floor…", I babbled.

His fingers gently lifted my chin. His own smile was a bit watery as he tried to reassure me.

"Okay", he said just as quietly as before, as if what was happening right now was sacred. And at least for me, it was. "Take me to bed, Luca."

* * *

><p><strong>Hajime POV<strong>

The reverence he held me with spoke for itself. Instead of making me feel all powerful like in that dream, it made me feel even stupider for never having noticed his true feelings. And their depth.

He carried me to the bed, holding me so tentatively, as if I was made from porcelain. He laid me down, slowly and so gently as if he was afraid he might break me. The chill from the silken sheets spread through my whole body as he stared down at me, mesmerized, obviously trying to memorize everything he could, unable to believe me when I'd said this was not going to be a one night thing.

I tried to smile more reassuringly and reached up for his hand. He bend down obediently and answered my attempt to kiss him with the eagerness of a starved man. He was an amazing kisser, skillful enough to make me dizzy, tentative to my needs, to my every moan and gasp. The only disturbing thing about his kisses was the desperation in them.

"Touch me", I gasped out when he pulled back to take a breath. "Come on…"

His hands were just as gentle when he barely slid his fingertips down my naked chest. I hated this hesitance. I hated his haunted look. I hated that he looked like he kept waiting to wake up. I hated myself for having done this to him.

"Look at me", I said.

His eyes met mine immediately, eager to fulfill my every wish.

"Don't be afraid to touch me. I'm not gonna bolt up and leave. It took me a while, but we're finally on the same page. I'm here to stay. I'm yours to take."

He looked down, hiding his face, and gasped brokenly. I grabbed his hair viciously and kissed him hard, hoping to finally reach him. He growled, kissing back, kissing lower, stopping at my neck to suck on a vicious hickey.

"Yeah", I gasped. "Like that. Just like that, baby…"

I felt weird, saying this out loud, calling him like that, but his strangled moan made it quite clear that he liked the endearment. He kissed lower and lower, licking and sucking and nipping gently, following my happy trail. He stopped when he reached my jeans, his hand hovering over the zipper as if my obviously raging hard-on wasn't enough of a proof that I wanted him.

"Go on… Please, come on…"

He undid the button and the zipper so slowly as if giving me time to react, to stop him at any time, still half surprised when I didn't. My jeans finally fell to the floor. Once again he stared down at me with pure wonder. I blushed, looking away. If Keita was right, there was something I had to say, no matter how embarrassing it was.

"I… I think you might have… seen something that you might have misunderstood. So… just so we're clear… Ihaven'tdonethisbefore. Ugh. Withaguy."

Luca blinked, his mouth forming a perfect "o". He noticed that, closed it and tried to speak.

"But I want to. With you. I'm very sure", I added quickly, nodding eagerly. "Very, very sure."

He finally smiled, a small broken smile, but at least it was real. He bent down again and kissed me sweetly before he slid down again and nuzzled the bulge between my legs. He kissed it through the boxers, frustrating me even more with gentle licks and barely there sucking through the thin material.

"Luca, come oon…", I hissed.

He finally complied, pulling down my underwear. I hissed again as my cock sprang free, exposed to the cold air. Not for long though. Luca's tongue took a long lick from the base to the tip, where it dipped into the slit, making me howl, before he sucked briefly on the head and slowly slid down, wholly engulfing me.

I could barely breathe. It'd been a while since anyone had gone down on me and no one, no one at all had ever been as good as Luca was. If he kept going like that… I couldn't let it be over like this…

"Stop, stop, Luca, stop…!", I half-sobbed. He looked up confused, worried. "It was amazing. You're amazing… That's just it – I was gonna… and I don't wanna… like that… I mean… tonight…all the way…"

Luca must have understood my rambling because his eyes suddenly widened impossibly and he whispered, voice cracking,

"Are you sure? No going back fr-…"

"No going back", I agreed. "I want this."

Luca gulped dryly, but nodded. His hand slipped under the pillow and a second later he was uncapping the lube. He coated a finger and looked back at me, gently nudging my legs open. And making me blush, deep red. Weird as it was, it hadn't been embarrassing when he'd sucked me off, but spreading my legs was. Embarrassing. Definitely. In a totally un-cool vulnerable way.

Him, staring down there, didn't help with that either. His nose, gently brushing the inside of my thighs, the tip of his tongue following the same pattern made me feel like I was gonna combust in flames. His slicked finger, circling and nudging me down there, made me flinch and gasp like a scared wild animal. Or like an idiot virgin. Which I was. In that sense. Uh.

Luca looked up. "I can…"

"No, you will not stop! I'm… just a bit nervous, okay? But I'm not backing out." I took a breath and tried to smile. "So. Do your magic."

"Hajime…"

"Luca."

He sighed, ready to argue again. So was I.

"Look, we can skip this very uncomfortable little talk and very embarrassing, if much needed, preparation, and get to the point, with me flipping us over and promptly sitting on your dick, which, especially considering your size, I'm sure will hurt a lot more than my ego does now, so…"

Luca needed a few deep breaths to compose himself, before he could respond, deciding, of course, to focus on the problem itself.

"You're embarrassed?", he asked.

"Of course I am", I muttered under my nose. "Told you, no one's seen me… that way."

Something feral and possessive flicked through his eyes when I said that, but he tamped it down quickly and said quietly,

"There's no reason to feel insecure or shy. You're… perfect. Everything, every part of you is… perfect."

And I could see it in his eyes that he really believed it. That he really saw none of my many faults. That he'd probably never seen anyone else the way he saw me; never considered anyone else the way he did me, having put me on a pedestal. And now everything he had looked up at, wished and dreamed of, laid beneath him, in his arms, waiting to be claimed by him.

It was a heady feeling, powerful in its vulnerability, seeing things from his perspective. It was the final push, the very thing that made me fully surrender to him, bare myself fully to him and say the words he had probably given up any hope to ever hear,

"Then take it, Luca. Every part of me… is yours."

He bent down, claiming my lips with a new, different urgency. It wasn't the desperation of before, not exactly; it was the need to fulfill desires, too long undisclosed and unsatisfied.

Even with the absurd amount of care (and lube) on Luca's side, the first finger still felt uncomfortable. But bearable.

The second one hurt. And it took all of my will (and biting my lips and Luca's shoulder respectively), not to groan with pain.

But, judging from the quite big bulge outlined in his jeans, I knew it'd take more than two fingers to prepare me for the real thing.

The third finger was beyond painful. I was afraid to even breath, scared that I may sob from the feeling of too much, too much of everything. And I was fully aware that even the smallest sound of discomfort will immediately make Luca stop and abandon any attempt at carnal activities, no matter what it cost him.

It was all worth it when with a final gentle kiss near my bellybutton Luca stood up and stripped of his last clothes with quick and yet still somehow seductive efficiency.

He was gorgeous. Like one of those Greek statues we read about at History of Art classes. I guess all that training paid off, even if I hadn't liked some of its outcomes. But I definitely liked the final result. Luca's body was a piece of art.

And so was a certain part of his anatomy, standing proud at the attention as he rolled on a condom.

As a man, I'd never thought I'd consider another man's dick 'beautiful', 'worth salivating' or whatever. But I could easily imagine Luca's cock inside of me, a part of me, and that scared me a little, the ease of it, the very natural thought of that concept.

Luca crawled back on top of me with the grace of a wild animal. He looked up and smiled crookedly.

"No take backs", he reminded.

I smiled, reassuringly. "No take backs", I agreed just as he sank inside me in one graceful motion.

Everything in me, everything that I was, shut down temporarily.

I slowly opened my eyes after what felt like ages. The first thing my dizzy with pain brain registered was the metallic taste in my mouth from where I'd bitten into Luca's shoulder again, this time drawing blood. My nails had sunk deep in his back, probably leaving bloody scars there as well, and my ass was tightly clamped around Luca's considerable length. He was panting in my ear, sounding quite pained, but completely still above me. I slowly loosened my mouth from his neck and my nails from his back, stuttering weak apologies.

"You weren't ready", he gasped out brokenly.

"I-I didn't w-want you t-to stop, s-so I… didn't t-tell…", I stuttered, choking on each breath.

"I would have taken my time, dummy, and I wouldn't have hurt you…"

"'s okay, just… gimme a minute…"

"Anything, just…"

"Just don't pull out, I can-I can... Just a minute…", I babbled.

"Anything", he promised again, peppering my face and ears and neck with sweet, distracting kisses.

It felt like ages before the pain subsided a little and I nodded to Luca, quietly urging him to move. Instead of the thrusts I expected Luca started rotating his hips slowly and so gently it was an almost nonexistent movement. It took a while before it started feeling somewhat nice. And after a few more minutes, as Luca's rotations became deeper and more intense, it started feeling really good.

And then, with a swift mix of rotation and thrust, he nailed it.

_That_ scream I couldn't hold back. And quite honestly I didn't even try. Cuz it was pure pleasure.

So _that_ was what big deal was for…

"Again…again, again, again!", I heard myself chanting, mind totally lost, nails back digging in his back, head thrown back and moaning shamelessly like a bitch. That was what sex with Luca reduced me to.

Luca seemed more than happy and eager to comply. He kept hitting that spot, that sweet spot that made me see stars and made everything worth it and what was I even on about earlier? Cuz that felt amazing and yes, more please, right there, yes, thank you, again please….

His fingers around my own dick, tugging with just the right amount of pressure and care, were too much, too good, I was losing it, losing it…

"Love you… so much, Kami, so much…", he gasped out brokenly, right next my ear.

"_And I love your dick hitting my sweet spot… Wait, no, you love __**me**__. Okay. That's nice too. Yeah… that feels very nice too…"_, my mind produced, close to finally short-circuiting.

"Hajime", Luca whispered, his voice strained and weak and so vulnerable as it pled, "Look at me."

I looked up and he was panting, those indescribably green eyes looking down, right into my eyes and it was finally too much…

* * *

><p>The next thing I remember is lying, spread onto my stomach, in the middle of the bed, feeling unbelievably sore yet strangely clean instead of sticky and yucky. Something felt off. The bed was empty.<p>

I looked up, squinting my eyes in the half-dark room, lit only by the full moon, illuminating the bed and half of the room itself. A dark figure was huddled up in a chair by the window, the moonlight illuminating only its hand, moving quickly over a sketchbook.

I groaned wordlessly and lifted an arm, reaching a hand towards the figure. Its sketching hand stopped moving; the figure paused for a moment as if contemplating my offer/plea. Luca slowly stood up, crossed the room and slipped under the sheets, gently spooning me and kissing my shoulder soothingly. The strange feeling of emptiness went away and everything felt right again.

I closed my eyes, surrendering back to sleep.


	17. Chapter 16 - Cards on the table

**Chapter 16 – Cards on the table**

**Hajime POV**

When I woke up again the dawn was just breaking with that strange grayish light as if the sun itself was too sleepy yet to actually show up. The bed was empty again, cold. Luca was nowhere in the room. The faint sounds coming from the kitchen made me aware where he was though.

Stretching and feeling each and every sore and bruised place on my body, I stood up slowly, dragging my feet towards the kitchen and the promising smell of coffee and food.

Luca was moving quickly around the small kitchen, unnaturally awake and focused at this hour. He flipped a pancake, stirred the bacon, cracked an egg and filled another cup of coffee for the time it took me to reach the table and sit on the nearest chair.

"Morning", I rasped out.

Luca actually jumped when he heard my voice, turning around and plastering a wide smile on his face.

"Yes. I mean, yes, good morning to you too. How-how are you?"

"Aaalright?", I dragged out, frowning at his freaked out state. "You?"

"Fine. Just great! I'm making breakfast. Do you want some? Of course you want some. Here's your coffee. Three sugars and milk."

"Luca?"

"Yeah?"

"Breathe."

"I am, don't you see I…"

"Sit. And calm the fuck down."

"I'm calm. Why would you think…", he kept talking as he sat down next to me.

I grabbed his hand, making him stop his rambling and look at me. I sighed, half-smiling.

"Good think that worked. I'm not kissing you with a morning breath", I declared.

Which obviously led him to the idea that I _would_ kiss him if it wasn't for my morning breath (that was a fact) and he finally relaxed (that was the idea).

"How about that breakfast then?", I smiled.

The talk could wait. For now.

* * *

><p>Luca was an amazingly good chef. Either that, or I was starved. Well, maybe it was both.<p>

Either way, my stomach was now full, my coffee mug was empty and I was finally awake enough for what was to come.

And it was time for me to remind him what I'd said right before we fell asleep last night, as he spooned me, holding me as if he'd never get another chance to hold me again.

"_In the morning, you will tell me everything. I promised you that this wasn't a casual fling. I want this. But if you really want it too, if you want it to be real… you gotta tell me everything, Luca. Every. Single. Detail."_

"You promised."

His jaw clenched. I knew what I was about to say was manipulative in a cruel way, but I knew I had to push him in order to get the answers I needed.

"If you want an 'us', you better start talking, Lucas."

Luca winced. He sighed heavily, a shaky exhale, before his hand reluctantly slipped from underneath mine. That same hand trembled, hesitantly hovering for a second over something he had placed on the chair next to him, something I couldn't yet see.

"I really hoped you had forgotten that promise…", he whispered brokenly.

"I haven't", I insisted. What had him so ashamed? What was he hiding?

Pointedly avoiding my eyes, he finally lifted the thing from the chair and silently slid it on the table. It was a simple yellowish folder. I opened it, revealing medical documentation. With his name on it.

"_Two broken ribs… a concussion… a twisted ankle… a dislocated shoulder…"_

I noted the dates – those were from months, maybe even a year ago. But I already knew that, of course. I'd seen the bruises – first in that locker room, after his basketball practice when he'd laughed off my concern, and then again and again lately.

What I hadn't seen, what I didn't know was the extent it had reached…

His hand silently covered mine and he flipped a few pages.

"_Multiple wounds from a cold weapon, possibly a knife or a sword… bruises, caused by brass knuckles, resulting in five broken ribs… a broken left arm … Fourteen stitches on the left pectoral… right… over… the heart"_, I gulped dryly, my tears obscuring my vision. "What did you do?", my voice sounded raspy.

"They call them fight clubs. Places you go to… when you want to forget; to lose yourself. Places with no rules", Luca answered, his voice hollow.

"Why?", I asked weakly.

"I needed a vent", Luca's fingers dug into his hair. "I needed a way out", he said, pulling and twisting at the black strands.

"Almost _killing_ yourself was your way to vent?!"

"Watching you ignoring me every time killed me. Watching you… writhing in that guy's lap… killed me. A part of me died every single time you turned away. Every single time you rejected me."

It felt like he stabbed me with those words. It hurt. But I needed to hear that.

"I'm sorry."

He looked up, opened his mouth. I held up a hand.

"No, I know that's not enough. I know how hollow that sounds. I know… how pathetic it is that even now I can't make any of the love declarations you deserve."

The tears finally fell down my cheeks but at this point I no longer cared.

"I know how… fucked up this is. All of this and every one of us in his own way. But here's what I can promise you: what you saw that night… nothing happened. I mean, nothing more happened. And if I knew then what I know now even that fooling around wouldn't have happened. Cause that's all it was. I promise. But… you know that already…", I stammered, feeling my face blush. "You… know that… what I said last night was… true and… I'm pretty sure one can tell when the other party, the other guy is, that is…"

He put a finger over my lips and smiled shakily. "I know. That I was really your first. I… I felt that."

I totally expected my face to burst into flames, any second now. I could only nod brusquely, take a deep breath and keep on.

"I can't promise you a forever. I can't say back those three words…y-yet. Ughm. What I _can_ promise you is… that we can try. This. For real. You attract me… s-sexually. You're close to me emotionally. I can work with that. That is… if that's enough for you…"

He put a finger under my chin, gently making me look at him. He was smiling.

"Hajime. That's all I've ever wanted."

It was enough. It was enough for now.

**A.N.** There, hope you liked it. If you did, feel free to say so in a review ;)


	18. Chapter 17 - Meeting the parents

**A.N.** First of all, a BIG, huge THANK YOU to MorrethIsCool and Ella459 - currently my most loyal reviewers and to ZepphyraSnowStorm who hasn't given up on me and this story :) Hope you enjoy this chapter as well :)

**Chapter 17 – Meeting the parents**

**Hajime POV**

We might have spent a few days (or weeks), holed up and detached from the world, in his apartment; just talking and getting to know each other in that new light, getting used to our new status and with each other as more than just friends.

Which might have worried my parents.

So, they called a few times. No more than 100, for sure; first Izumo, and then Kotetsu. They pleaded, threatened and finally demanded a visit, _today_, putting up an ultimatum of denying me time with Kira chan and Lulu chan.

Since our parents were: 1. a cop and an ANBU, trained to extract information and 2. nosy women, who knew everything, always, I figured they'd find out about us pretty soon anyway, so there was no point in prolonging the inevitable.

Luca agreed to go to my parents' house first, with some strange reluctance. He took forever to bathe, choose clothes (which he changed no more than, oh, let's say _300 times!_); he chose a pair of nice shoes instead of his usual sneakers and took forever to style his hair. It was so strange to me to observe all that that it took me a while to get what he was actually doing.

"Kami, you're _primping_!"

"I am not…"

"You're _primping_ for meeting the parents!", I exploded.

"…"

"Oh, dear Kami!"

"There is nothing wrong with wanting to make a good impression…"

"Good impression!? They've known you since you couldn't say "R"!"

"You will never gonna let me live that down, will you?"

"Since we were 5, Luca!"

"But it's different now", Luca said quietly, looking at his feet. "You said it's gonna be different."

Something in me broke when I saw him like this. My voice was a lot softer when I clarified, "Yeah, between you and me. Doesn't have to be different between you and my fathers."

Luca shrugged and didn't say anything else, but he was tense during the whole ride to my parents' house. He was positively fidgeting when we reached the door, standing a little behind me.

"Oh, for crying out loud!", I rolled my eyes, dragging him in. "Yo, we're here!", I called out louder.

Izumo instantly ran into the hallway, beaming (and running a hand through his suspiciously disheveled hair). Kotetsu followed him soon, still blushing slightly. The enormous hickey on his neck reminded me why I _had_ to live alone.

"Fuck, I'm so glad you guys made up!", Izumo blurted out, hugging us both. Over his shoulder I could see Kotetsu narrowing his eyes. Luca quickly looked away from that gaze. Fuck. The first mistake. Kotetsu smirked knowingly. He gave us both a pat on the back as we passed him by; Luca's was a tad bit stronger than strictly necessary.

Oblivious as always, Izumo busied himself serving the elaborate meal on the already set table and calling out Akira's name as he handed out the now full plates.

"Where's Lulu?", I asked, noting the absence of my baby sister.

"With her Godfathers", Kotetsu said, visibly calm, even though I could see his tensed shoulders.

"WHAT! You left her alone with them!?", I exploded once again.

"Not alone!", Izumo quickly defended. "…Iruka's with them too."

"That means Kakashi as well! Way to go, Dads! Two perverts, a psycho assassin and a lone sane person, taking care of your baby girl!"

"Hey now, being in a committed relationship makes a guy a lot less perverted…"

"Yeah, that's why I had to move out!", I glared accusingly at my fathers, finally making Luca chuckle quietly.

"_Anyway_, Hidan's a lot more mature than he used to be, believe it or not. Otherwise we wouldn't have chosen him to be one of Lulu's Godparents. Also, if you see Suigetsu as a psycho assassin, just because he's an active ANBU, does that mean you see me the same way, seeing as I used to be one as well and can be re-called any time?", Kotetsu asked with a hint of manipulative sadness and insecurity in his voice.

"No… Dad, you know I've never…I will never see you that way", I stammered.

I knew why they chose Hidan and Suigetsu, of course. I knew the story, even though Kotetsu had told me only the basic facts, and even that had been too much. Suigetsu had almost died once to save Kotetsu, on an ANBU mission gone horribly wrong. Without thinking of his own boyfriend (at the time, now husband) waiting for him at home, Suigetsu had flung himself in harm's way, to save my Dad, only muttering to him to get back home to his family. Kotetsu had done so, dragging Suigetsu's unconscious and half dead body with him. It'd been a really close call, resulting in Hidan yelling at Kotetsu at the hospital before breaking down. And from the bitten-off info Izumo had reluctantly shared with me, Kotetsu had also broken down later the same night. It took two days for him to re-boot. It took Suigetsu making it for Hidan to resemble something close to himself again. My father resigned the next day. Hidan proposed to Suigetsu the minute he was awake and aware again.

My father was alive thanks to Suigetsu. He was able to come back to us and have Lulu, thanks to Suigetsu. It was only natural for my Dads to choose him for a Godparent to their child.

Not to mention how close they'd gotten once they were all out of the hospital and the guilt was out of the way.

Even though it was a fact that they had all matured after such a traumatizing experience, it hadn't changed their personalities – they were still as perverted as ever, so my remark was very valid, thank you very much!

"They don't do pervy stuff in front of her, you know that", Izumo said, as if having read my mind.

I sighed, defeated. It was true, after all – Lulu was spared, probably thanks to her fragile age. The rest of us weren't as lucky.

Still fuming, I busied myself with serving extra chilly in Luca's plate and removing the garnish he wasn't a big fan of, while he tried to argue that he was just fine. We were still debating – half with shushed voices and half with glares, as Akira stepped into the room, spared us just a look, heaved a huge sigh and exclaimed,

"Fucking finally! All puns intended!"

He and Kotetsu even had the audacity to share a high-five and Kotetsu even chuckled as the rest of us gaped.

* * *

><p>Of course, they gave Luca the if-you-hurt-him-we'll-hunt-you-down copANBU spiel. He was actually kind of impressed by it, even as he solemnly swore that he would never do such a thing. I kept quiet for the time being, making a note to myself to explain to him later how hurting himself would also count as hurting me, if he ever thought of going back to his more extreme hobbies.

Then it was time for the visit to his mothers. And I totally understood his primping and wished I had done the same. Not that it would have impressed them much.

Karen was already giggling by the door, waving her smartphone with my traitor-of-a-brother messages telling her in advance that her brother and I were together and "sickeningly sweet with each other". That, I assume, was how Akira had interpreted our brief encouraging touching of hands during the cop/ANBU spiel.

Being the more boisterous between the two, Sakura took charge of the Haruno-Yamanaka threats, consisting mainly of "if you ever again become the cause of my son disappearing and nearly killing himself, I will end you sneakily (even though you're my best friends' kid) and no one will know."

"But otherwise I'm very glad you've finally pulled your head out of your fine ass…"

"Sakura!", Ino exclaimed indignantly, followed by Luca's scandalized voice,

"Mom!"

"…and took my idiot-son's feelings seriously", Sakura concluded, grinning widely. "Now, I've made one of those veggie thingies you like."

"T-Thanks", I muttered.

So Sakura accepted me. Us.

Ino was still… wary and guarded, but not hostile; more like she wanted to give me another chance, but was firmly showing me it's gonna take real effort on my part to make her trust me with her son. I guess it was only fair.

"Well, I guess it went okay, if predictably nerve-wrecking", I said lightly as Luca drove. He'd already asked if I'd stay the night at his place and I'd agreed with an ease and a little skip of my heartbeat that still surprised me.

"Mm", he agreed absentmindedly. A few moments were spent in comfortable silence. I noted how different it was now, compared to when we were just friends. Even the silence was different. Couple-ly?

"_That was a very idiotic thought, Hajime",_ I reprimanded myself.

"You know", Luca suddenly said. "It meant a lot for me. Introducing each other to our families as… as…"

"A couple?", I supplied, kind of touched that he was still nervous and a bit insecure in calling us that way.

Luca gulped dryly, but his eyes were bright as he nodded and breathed out a quiet, "Yeah."

My heart was doing its strange fluttery thing again. Maybe I had to talk with Sakura. Or another doctor. A heart doctor. Yeah.

I put my hand, open palmed, on the center console, offering consolation, but not pushing. Luca's fingers twitched on the steering wheel. Then, slowly, the hand closest to me enveloped mine, intertwining our fingers.

Nothing had to be said. Just like I'd seen that happen in my fathers' relationship, we didn't need words.

**A.N.** Surprised a little? ;) Hidan's part in this chapter was inspired by MorrethIsCool's demand for a "hidan cameo". I hope it was an alright one, even if it probably didn't exactly "crack you up" since it wasn't particularly funny. But he might (MIGHT!) make another small appearance in the few remaining chapters ;)


	19. Chapter 18 - Old habits and

**Chapter 18 – Old habits and new nightmares**

**Hajime POV**

So I stayed the night at his place; and we did nothing more than keeping close to each other, as if reassuring each other with our very presence, solidifying something new and fragile and so very breakable. Even spending the night in the same bed was still new, even after the days/weeks after our first time we had spent together before re-emerging from his flat to meet our families.

I'd found out Luca was unsurprisingly tactile and touch-starved. What _did_ surprise me was my own need to keep him calm and content by always maintaining some sort of connection – his head in my lap as we watched TV, my feet on his lap as I read, playing footsie while we had breakfast or even just being in the kitchen, close by as he cooked. Being spooned or sprawled/sprawling over the other wasn't as overwhelming I'd thought it would be. It was actually… nice. And made _me_ just as content as Luca was.

We were once or twice rudely reminded of our past: as Luca woke up sweaty and panting, hand over an old scar, his eyes wild and scared; as he sometimes took longer to stretch out his aching muscles in the morning… every time I saw him naked and each scar was a painful reminder that I had caused this.

He brushed off my concern as always.

"It's a normal thing for a person who's used to intensive training to feel kind of sore when he hasn't been in the gym for a while", he explained.

Which led him to the idea that he had to get back to his "less abusive training sessions" as he promised me. I didn't ask what he meant, where he'd go. I knew.

Someone else had already told me.

* * *

><p>The place was huge and full to the brim with all kinds of fitness devices, still being spacious enough for sparring sessions. Such as the one I observed from the viewing gallery.<p>

Luca sparred against a big tattooed guy I was told was the owner of the place, the toughest of them all – Ares. I could see why he was considered the best fighter – he was fast, bulky yet still flexible, had a mean punch. But most of all, he was so focused on the fight, so into it, like he lived for it.

And Luca… Luca wasn't all that different. He didn't back down, not once, and Ares took just as much as he did. Luca was good. He was damn good.

Didn't make watching him being beaten any easier, even if he was beating the other guy just as much.

Another punch got him in the jaw and I couldn't hold back the flinch.

"I shouldn't have told you about this place. It was a mistake."

I looked up at Hiro who stood next to me, observing _me_ rather than the fight.

"You should go", he said quietly.

"I already know that's the way he trains…", I trailed off, keeping it to myself that it'd been a compromise between Luca and I, that as long as he didn't go back to the fight clubs I wouldn't stop him from training.

"My girlfriend also knows that I come here. But she doesn't come watch me", Hiro said pointedly. Then, as if having read my mind, he added, "This isn't a fight club. We don't fight to kill or knock out each other. We fight to unwind, to get shit out of our systems, to cool off. Still, you shouldn't be here", he said again. He waited till I looked up at him again and said, "You may know that Ares isn't gonna kill or fatally hurt Luca. But it doesn't make it any easier to observe the one you love taking the punches."

The next punch got Luca in the stomach. I bit my bottom lip, closing my eyes.

"Go", Hiro said.

I didn't need any more prompting.

I spent the next few nights at my place, having nightmares of Luca getting beaten up to death, each and every night.

It was another night like that when I couldn't take it anymore. I showed up at Luca's door, banging on it, my eyes stinging from tears I refused to shed. It must have been well after midnight because he looked particularly ragged, sleepy and confused as he finally swung the door open. I pushed him, pushing my way in, closing the door with my foot and we had rough, bruising, brutal sex on the floor.

It guess it must have had the same cleansing effect for my tormented soul as Hiro had said the fighting had. When I felt Luca brushing off my tears, as if silently apologizing for causing them, I just shook my head, resting our brows together. Luca's hug tightened in response.

It was okay. It was okay for now.

* * *

><p>I woke up in the middle of Luca's soft bed, where he'd taken me last night after our rough session on the floor and where he proceeded to kiss away every bruised and sore place of my body. He'd made sure I was feeling all better, safe and relaxed as I fell asleep, the feeling remaining as I woke up in the morning.<p>

Still feeling particularly lazy I wrapped a sheet around my waist and dragged myself towards the welcoming smell of coffee.

Luca had his back turned to me when I stepped in, so I could enjoy the view. He cooked half naked, having only put on some ripped jeans, so I could freely admire the way the muscles on his back flexed like they must have flexed last night while were both chasing an orgasm; the way his strong arms stretched as he reached for something in the cupboards; his hands were a whole other level of sexy with their long fingers; hands of an artist. It still felt a bit weird for me to ogle my best friend like that, but after last night I felt no shame in doing just that. In fact, I rather felt something else.

As soon as the idea flashed through my mind I was already acting on it.

I cleared my throat, making him turn around immediately, surprised. He froze mid-gesture, stunned, eyes dinking me in. I smirked, dropping the sheet, causing it to pool at my feet. And causing Luca to drop his coffee mug, which shattered loudly in the sink. I smirked.

"You know what I apparently like more than coffee in the morning?", I asked, my voice still hoarse from last night.

Luca gulped dryly, shaking his head.

"You. Naked."

Luca smirked back.

"That can be arranged."

* * *

><p><strong>Luca POV<strong>

He stepped closer, hooked a finger in my belt loops and started walking backwards towards the bedroom. When we finally reached the bed he quickly unzipped my jeans and suddenly dropped to his knees… only to gently help me step out of the denim. His hands tenderly made their way up my calves and thighs as he stood up, looking me directly in the eyes. He switched our positions and made me lie down. He then slowly started crawling on top of me, kissing his way up, starting with my ankle… my ribs… my whole left arm, from the tips of my fingers to the shoulder… my brow…

Something felt off. He was tense. His breath was hitched, bit he wasn't panting. It sounded more like he was biting back a sob.

It finally clicked when he bent down and stared kissing an old scar, right over my heart.

"…_a twisted ankle… five broken ribs …a broken left arm …a dislocated shoulder… a concussion… fourteen stitches on the left pectoral, right over the heart…"_

"Don't… you don't have to…", I started.

He put the tips of his fingers over my lips, still gripping my shoulder with his free hand. He looked up, his multicolored eyes glassy with tears; tears that slowly started falling down his cheeks.

"I'm s-…", he began.

It was my turn to silence him, the same way he'd done it to me. He bit back another sob and just rested his brow on mine. Any foreplay or real sex was forgotten and for the time being we were both content to just stay like that for a while.


	20. Chapter 19 - Worth it

**A.N.** Hello again to those who still read and maybe review :) Sorry for the long wait and thanks for your support :) I have planned only two more chapters, so calm down, bear with me and stay tuned :)

**Chapter 19 – Worth it**

**Luca POV**

Two months passed without any of us noticing. We just kind of fell into pace, without falling into routine, clicked together without losing our identities.

It wasn't as organized as I had imagined life with Hajime would be. He was chaos personified. Some of our fist "fights" were over things like where he left his dirty socks, in what condition he left the toothpaste, etc. He sucked at planning – he usually left in a hurry, only to rush right back in, having forgotten something; he was almost always late; he kept paper notes, stuck pretty much everywhere to remind him of pretty much anything. Yes, he owned a smartphone. No, he did not use it for planning his day, work or social life.

He forgot where he left things, but claimed someone else had lost/hid them. And he left things on the most impossible places: keys in the bread case, his phone in the laundry basket, a hat over the fridge (where he actually couldn't reach without a chair).

He sometimes chose those impossible places consciously: like the idiotic statue I tripped over in my own hallway ("Come on, I know you love it!"), the huge rock from the beach he had dragged and positioned in _my_ bathroom ("Isn't it cool?!"), the flour that fell on top of my head when I opened the cupboard ("Eer…ooops?") and so on.

He had two work moods: inspired, when he got all focused and talked briskly and looked feverish; and aloof, when he shut himself up and away from the world. And me. That was what our first big fight was about – I had insisted that he rent out his place and move in with me, since my loft was more spacious. He declined. Several times. It had escalated to screaming at each other and him leaving, slamming the door. It had taken me some time to realize that he needed some space for himself. Or at least he needed to know that he had such a place, to escape to if needed…

* * *

><p><strong>Hajime POV<strong>

Our next big fight was over Luca's "training sessions". Read: half dying on me again. Luca and Ares' ideas of training were far too brutal for any kind of sport, be it stress relieving or else.

He had come back one evening limping and moving stiffly, wincing when he sat down, breathing shallowly. I had insisted to check up on him, to drive him at the hospital, to call a doctor. He had declined. To all of that. It had escalated to a screaming contest and him, shutting himself up in his atelier. I had called Sakura. She had not only come immediately, but dragged him out, dragged him to the hospital and had him x-rayed only to find _another_ twisted ankle and _another_ set of fractured ribs.

I had refused to talk to him for three days.

He cleaned the damn bathroom obsessively and insisted on putting things in some insanely annoying order. He always knew where everything was, even if it was mine and I had been the one to put it somewhere. He was always punctual, always keeping to a plan for the day; he had it all in his head, and needed no notes (he kept laughing at me for!) or smartphones (he used his with all its graphing apps, but never as a planner).

He kept bugging me to move in, encouraging me to at least leave a few sets of clothes, but hated the design ideas I came up with – and that statue in the hallway (which he threw away) was cool!

He preferred to draw in his atelier, but if the light was good, he dragged his easel right next to the glass wall, overlooking the street and sat there for hours sometimes, creating another masterpiece. He had lots of sketchbooks, some of which he never allowed me to see. He hid a few of his paintings as well. Having a pretty good guess what was in them, I had asked at least for the picture he had drawn of me after we had first had sex. He had denied, ironically distracting me with sex.

Luca was probably the reincarnated author of Kama Sutra. He knew ways to please someone I had never imagined before, was flexible, willing and coaxing me to try new poses and places. He had even been the one to offer to bottom for me. It had been an enlightening experience, making me aware that I preferred to be the one on the bottom, leading me to question my masculinity until Luca shut me up, later giving me a lecture how it was all about knowing what I want and feeling at piece with it.

I wanted Luca. And it seemed we were both content with that. It was not always easy, but it was worth it.

* * *

><p>It was raining outside and the light was useless for drawing or taking pictures. Luca was in the garage, having crawled under his beloved car, picking at something again. I was sitting in an old armchair, doodling something nowhere near as good as Luca's most basic sketches.<p>

His hand searched blindly for something on the ground next to him.

"B-… Hajime, pass me that wrench, please", Luca's muffled voice came from under his car.

I felt a smirk pulling at my lips.

"You can call me babe, you know. When it's just us. And… if you let me see that sketchbook."

Pause.

"I'm fine with Hajime", Luca stubbornly said.

Okay. Useful info. No cheap bargaining in this relationship.

"Mom wants us to drop by on Friday", he said out of the blue, his voice muffled from under the car.

"Yeah? Which Mom?", I grinned.

"Sassy much?", he grumbled. "Both, okay? Ino proposed it, actually. But Sakura's all in, too."

"Mm. Okay", I said, looking through the pictures on my phone.

"Do you… have any other plans?", he nudged.

"Nope, none. I have a few lectures in the morning, but that's all. I should probably check out the gang at the shop."

I had recently started a part-time job at a photo studio. It was interesting, not overly time-consuming and my new colleagues were all Photography students or graduates; they were all cool and we had established an easy companionship. Friday was my day off, but I thought I should drop by, say hi… bring them some cake.

My birthday was on Friday.

And Luca was acting all nonchalant about it, although I knew he hadn't forgotten. I just wondered what he was up to.

* * *

><p>Friday started spectacularly with a blowjob and breakfast. It kinda sounded like those silly offers of "bed and breakfast". You know, "blowjob and breakfast". I'm sure any man would prefer the second option; the bed wasn't necessary. Even though Luca performed said blowjob right on his bed, choosing to wake me up this way. It worked. It would work every time. Every morning should be "Let's wake up Hajime with a blowjob" morning. Yep.<p>

Luca's chuckles made me aware I was talking out loud.

He left me there, in the middle of the bed, to bask/nap again and went to make me and fetch me some breakfast. Read: everything I could possibly come up with and liked. Bacon and eggs, pancakes, French toasts, fresh fruit, fresh orange juice and coffee with just the right amount of sugar and cream.

"I love you", I blurted out.

Luca snorted. "You love my cooking. But that'll do for now. You'll have to wait until tonight for your present."

"I also love your sex techniques", I added quickly.

He laughed again, pecking me on the lips before he stood up.

"That's not your present", he winked. "Good to know though!"

The guys at the shop sang me an off-tune "Happy Birthday to you", followed by loud cheers, beers and their actual present in the form of a collage of me, receiving some fancy Photography award. The message on the back said, "Until we take a real picture of the real ceremony ;)"

My fathers threw another loud party in their backyard, claiming that I listened to the same music after all. They had provided more than enough food and drinks, reminding me to stay on the sober side though if I wanted to use their gift – a car, all for me. It wasn't as flashy and fast like Luca's, blatantly showing my fathers overprotectiveness again, but it was nice, comfortable, new and MINE! The huge cake that was brought minutes later distracted Akira from whining that he expected the same gift for himself in a few years.

Sakura and Ino were also present at my fathers' house; Sakura handed me a whole vegetarian lasagna ("Well, Izumo called in the last moment, I thought you guys were gonna have some smaller party some other day. I was half-way done with the lasagna already") and some fancy chocolates ("Ino made them - super secret family recipe, apparently. Wouldn't tell a soul, even her own soul mate!", Sakura sniffed melodramatically as Ino rolled her eyes with a smile). And, as if that wasn't enough already, they had also bought me a new tripod.

"Honestly, they didn't have to buy me all that, it's too much…", I groaned as we got back to Luca's place and I sat down on his bed to take off my socks.

"But you'll drive your car…", Luca pointed out.

"Hell yeah!"

"…and use that tripod."

"…Yeah. Yeah, okay, but…"

"They love you, it makes them happy to give you things. Just accept them."

"Yeah, okay, but please tell me you haven't …"

He gently put his present in my lap.

"I haven't."

It was a small stack of sketchbooks, bound with a simple red ribbon. I took a moment to just stare at them, absently caressing the ribbon between my fingers, before Luca started to fidget.

"It's… not anything fancy…"

I grabbed his fingers and squeezed.

"I love it."

"You haven't even opened them yet", he snorted.

"I already love them."

My fingers shook a little as I removed the ribbon and opened the first sketchbook. It was all me; every single piece. The drawings were old, probably years old, and it was evident that Luca's hand hadn't been as sure as it was now – there were many signs of erasing and drawing again until Luca had been satisfied with the details. My eyes and hands had been the most difficult it seemed – he'd spent most of his time on those parts. The first sketches were of me in school, at my parent's place, holding Akira, doing my homework…

The drawings were getting better and better with each new sketchbook. And Luca had become braver. The pictures showed me swimming, stepping out of the pool, little droplets traveling down my stomach – Luca had spent quite some time on that detail; another few showed me sleeping in my bed… on the next few I was in Luca's bed… another few and I wasn't wearing any clothes.

"Yeah, uhm… I had to use my imagination for those…", he muttered, staring at his feet.

"Well, not anymore", I smirked.

The last one was from after our first time together. I was laying in the middle of his bed, with just the sheet covering my groin; the moon threw interesting light on my body like it was directed especially on me. I looked peaceful. Tired, but peaceful.

"Thank you", I said, carefully closing the sketchbook and placing it with the rest on my nightstand.

"Yeah, well… It's nothing special, but you kept asking, so…"

I grabbed the front of his T-shirt and silenced him with a kiss.

"Thank you", I repeated as I pulled back a little. "For those, and for waiting for me to tell you… that _I really do love you, too_."

Luca smiled softly and stole another kiss.

"It was worth it."


	21. Chapter 20 - November 6th

**A.N.** So here it is, guys. The last chapter. There will be, of course, a short epilogue and that would be all of this story ;)

**Chapter 20 – November 6th**

**One year later**

**Luca POV**

The sound of the shutter woke me up, making me flinch and blink blearily. My head felt heavy when I looked up from the pillow, looking around for the culprit.

"No, nope, just stay where you are!", the little demon instructed.

"Babe…", I groaned, burying myself back in pillows and blankets. "I thought we made a deal."

He was allowed to take pictures of me, as long as he showed them only to me and (if they weren't very embarrassing) to close friends and family members. If he wanted to shoot early in the morning he was usually thoughtful enough to use a hobby camera with the sound effects turned off.

Not today, obviously.

"I know, but the light was perfect and just the way that you had arranged your body…", he started explaining, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"As in, _actually asleep_, relaxed and oblivious to my boyfriend's evil intentions?"

"Er… yeah."

"Mmm."

"I'm making you coffee. Yeap. Right now", he nodded to himself, standing up.

"You better. But first…"

"Hm?"

"C'mere."

He bent down, smiling slightly, pecking me on the lips with none of the nervousness he used to feel; he was at ease now. Comfortable with where we were and what we had.

"Good morning", I smiled back.

He shook his head, smiling down at me, pecked me on the lips again and stood up to go make me some much needed coffee.

And if anyone should shake their head it was me. One year and we had gotten so far. One year and he had gotten from blushing even when our hands brushed to actually taking the initiative in the bedroom, becoming much more confident. He was now so obviously content and at ease in this relationship that it made something in my chest swell pleasantly every time I caught him doing something from rearranging the wardrobe so there was more space for his clothes to sneaking some very intimate photos of me. There were probably a dozen of albums of me sleeping, shaving, cooking, drawing, training. Although it was only basketball, swimming and running these days, no martial arts. We had had enough of fights over that. We'd been close to even breaking up over it once or twice. It was that and the fact that I finally saw how much it really hurt Hajime that made me stop seeking out Ares when shit hit the fan. Ares himself wasn't surprised. He said training with him was only temporary in everyone's life, a phase that eventually passed. I never got the guts to ask him why it hadn't passed for him too.

"Your coffee is getting cold!"

Grumbling, I accepted that I had to get up and drag my ass into the kitchen; because even providing coffee was pushing Hajime's limited knowledge of using the kitchen appliances and I was still supposed to make us both some breakfast.

Surprisingly, Hajime refused a real breakfast and settled for some cereal. He looked nervous and twitchy.

"Is everything alright?", I asked.

"Yeah. Yeah, sure, why do you ask?"

"You refused food. And no matter what your skinny ass suggests, you never refuse food."

"If my ass is skinny, then why do you like and worship it so much?", he snipped. "Besides, it's only the food you and my dads and your moms make that I never refuse."

"Which makes it pretty much any food near you", I pointed out.

"Urgh!", was Hajime's eloquent answer.

A few minutes passed in silence, both of us munching on the crunchy cereal.

"You _will_ come tonight… right?", he finally asked in a small voice.

I sighed.

"Babe. It's your first solo exhibition. How could I _not come_?"

That didn't seem to reassure him all that much as his tiny frame still looked kind of shrunken and he still looked like the definition of insecurity. I grabbed his hand and waited until he looked up. I smiled at him.

"Of course I'll be right there next to you."

He finally cracked a small grateful smile and returned to eating his cereal.

* * *

><p>The gallery was full. People were admiring the exhibited photographs and congratulating the author. I had tried to step back a little, to let him enjoy the spotlight, but his surprisingly strong grip on my wrist didn't allow me to go anywhere. Hajime was uncomfortable around people. I had been quite surprised that he had agreed to set up his own exhibition but he was now stoically accepting praises and critique with a pleasant, but sadly fake smile.<p>

Izumo and Kotetsu were extremely proud. They had invited all of their friends and colleagues and some of them actually appreciated what they saw. Iruka for example, and surprisingly Kakashi too. Hidan looked like he had expected some nude photography and was now a little bored, seeing as Hajime was leaning more towards the fine art photography. Kotetsu's sensei colleagues immediately recognized themselves and their students in some shots; the Academy had decided to buy those and exhibit them in their lobby. There were actually quite a few photographs already bought.

Everyone noticed one particular frame, covered with a thick veil. Hajime had explained that it was a particularly intimate shot and he had to talk to someone first before he decided if he would ever show it to other people at all.

I had a hunch who exactly that someone was.

In a few hours the crowd started to slowly dissipate. Hajime and I, and our parents, were the last to stay and we started to clean the place up, picking up paper tissues, wrappings and glasses, some empty and some half-full. At some point Hajime gathered the parents and quietly thanked them for coming and for their help then pointedly said that we'll finish cleaning by ourselves. They got the hint, hugged him and wished us a good night before they left.

Hajime came closer, took an empty glass from my hand and squeezed my fingers hard. I could see he was quite nervous. He smiled a shaky smile as he said,

"I guess you know who I need to talk about that one", he nodded towards the covered frame.

I shrugged, fighting down a pleased smirk. With no further ado, Hajime grabbed the veil and pulled it down.

I understood immediately why this photograph wasn't included in the exhibition. It was simple, yet too intimate. Too personal.

It was me. I was laughing hard, standing in the middle of a small pile of orange and yellow leaves, and it looked like more of them were falling around me. I remembered the day he had taken this one…

_I was in the middle of finishing another painting when he'd suddenly bolted from the couch, grabbed my hand and dragged me towards the bedroom._

"_Hey, wha-…"_

"_Get dressed. Something nice and warm. Let's take a walk. In the park. Now."_

"…_Okay."_

_I knew he was in one of his 'phases'. He got like that when he'd gotten inspired and needed to start shooting immediately – he talked quickly and harshly, he looked feverish. The best course of action was to go along._

_He dragged me to the nearest park. We kept walking and he still looked kind of frustrated, like he was waiting for something to happen. To distract him, I scooped a handful of fallen leaves and threw them over us both, laughing when he turned around, shocked. Feeling a bit childish, I did it again, loving the look on his face. I remember the sound of the shutter; a single one, _the_ very picture Hajime had been waiting for. When I looked at him again, he was smiling widely, in a calm way. He took the few steps separating us, the leaves crunching under his feet as he stood on his toes to kiss me in the quiet park, in the middle of the falling leaves._

The picture was signed simply. November 6th.

"This is the day I realized that I'm really in love with you and your _real_ smile; that you're the only one for me."

My heart skipped a beat or two when he said that. There had been many gestures, many ways to show it… but that was something different. Something deeper.

"Until then… it was nice, being with you, and it kept getting better and better and then on that November 6th I just knew. Clearly. I had a name for it and I was sure what it was."

I gulped dryly. His arms sneaked around me from behind and he hugged me, in a comforting way he had never showed before.

"I'm not a romantic guy, Lucas. I don't believe in the whole traditional insanity of a marriage ceremony. But I… I would very much like it… if you continued to put up with me, for many more Novembers to come."

I snorted, brushing off a few traitorous tears. "Not a romantic, huh?"

I turned around and smashed our lips together in a hungry and demanding kiss.

"Till my very last November. Always", I whispered over his lips.

…

The annoying sound of someone munching on popcorn made us both twitch and pull back as someone drawled,

"That was sweet, dollface. Now start taking off his clothes."

I turned around, glaring at Hidan, who stood nonchalantly there, stuffing his face with popcorn I was sure he had just grabbed, just for his little stunt.

Suigetsu, always the more sensible between the two (psychotic ANBU and married to Hidan as he was), grabbed his beloved and dragged him away, grinning apologetically at us. "Come now, Hi-chan. I hear Luca kun still has some very mean right hook and I ain't in the mood to save ya'r ass again."

I sighed, annoyed, then looked back at Hajime. Who was, surprisingly, still smiling. I grinned back at him.

"Where were we?"

He chuckled, shook his head and leaned back into the kiss.


	22. Epilogue

**A.N. A huge thank you to all those who took the time to read and review, showing support! You know who you are and I love you! :)**

**Epilogue**

**12 years later**

**Lulu POV**

The sound of the doorbell made me jump and cry out "It's for me, I'll get it!" as I ran as fast as I could towards the entrance.

Of course, no such luck. Not with _my_ fathers, a cop and an ex-ANBU, now martial arts sensei. Not with two nosy older brothers. AND the older one's boyfriend, who was all but another brother to me. And who had his own history with fighting. And…

Uh.

I stopped, dumbstruck in the foyer, when I saw them all. Yes, all of them. Staring imposingly at my date. Who obviously was seconds away from running away, screaming.

Izumo wore a T-shirt saying "I have a beautiful daughter. I also have: a gun, a shovel and an alibi!" He also had his badge on display. Kotetsu wore a standart Konoha's Academy for Martial Arts T-shirt; sleeveless, so his ANBU tattoo could be seen. Hajime and Akira both held baseball bats, grinning like total psychos. Luca cracked his knuckles as he smiled with fake kindness.

"Well hello there", Izumo said, all like the vilian in every Bond movie. "Akihiko, right?"

Aki just nodded, scared beyond words. Izumo's shark smile widened.

"Why don't you come in?"

"Uhm, Dad, we were just…"

"Don't offend me, Lulu. We're a _fine_ family. We could at least serve some tea to our guest", Izumo said with a demonic glint in his eyes.

"I-I don't want to b-bother you, s-sirs", Aki stammered.

"Oh, we insist", Kotetsu narrowed his eyes. "We'll all just sit and have a nice chat. Right, boys?", he asked my brothers.

"Yep. We were just going out for a game, but we could always play later", Hajime grinned.

"Ah, but why don't you go play _now, __**onii-san**_?", I growled.

Hajime flinched visibly, deeply hurt by the honorifics. He straightened his back quickly though.

"I find it necessary to honor our guest, Lulu", he said.

They invited him into the living room. Where, of course, all of their weapons were on full display on the table.

"Oh, for crying out loud!", I cried out, myself.

"Excuse that, Aki-kun, we were just cleaning that all up", Izumo smiled.

"That's it! We're leaving! Aki, come on! And you all!", I pointed them with a shaky hand, "We will have some serious talk when I get back!"

Their smiles fell immediately, like candle flames blown from the wind.

"But Lulu, baby…"

"No! You will not get away from this, Dad! We _talked_ about this! And you _still_…! UH!"

I turned on my heel, dragging Aki with me as we left in a hurry. I was still fuming when we went outside and started walking towards the nearest park.

"Um. That was all for show, right?", he asked hesitantly.

"I wish it was…", I muttered, not really able to calm him down at this moment.

Oh, they were all gonna get one hell of a sermon when I got back home!

**THE END**


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